TOEFL essay sample: Capital punishment

[Gorji]

dear teacher i wondering if you could check this essay
thanks

With improvement in the humans life ,common sense changed and despite past that every body agreed that the capital punishment was right ,now common sense is against it especially in developed countries but what has been changed? And which of them are right? I try to explain it in this essay.

I totally disagree with this kind of the punishment ,let we assume a man has killed another one, what would we do? the first answer is to kill him but why? why this kind of the punishment during most years of the human life?

Living like animals according to jungle’s law has learnt human to establish society and to preserve it enact laws with human improvement these laws have changed as well as the industry ,economic and so on. In the past most of the criminals escape from hands of the law because there were no professional police and judiciary system like now and when a criminal captured to threat others with the worst and intensest punishment ,punish him for example remove eyes ,cut off body’s part like hand and also capital punishment but now social scientist are believe that there is no relation between punishment intensity and criminal rate in society and in some area the rate of the criminal has decreased after removing capital punishment .in the other hand some people may ask about victims what about their right and also their families right I think killing criminal for example a murderer not only bearing no help to victims but also it might produces other victims ,the murderer ,his family and society even in this case it is possible to make a wrong decision seeing as it make by human and also who can defenetly say that a couse of the murder is a specific person whiles (whereas) there are a lot of thing that couse a specific decision come up.