TOEFL® essay: People work because they need money to live. What are some other...

[Marcheeba]

People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.
Here's my response in 20 minutes, please evaluate!!! thanks!!

I agree that most of people work to make their living, so they can afford food, houses, and schools for their children and many more. But there are people, who have plenty of money, say family money, or they just won a lottery, but they continue working, despite the fact that they can afford anything they need. So there must be some other reasons, aside money issue why people work.

In my opinion work is an essential part of life for all human beings. People need some physical and mental exercise for a healthy living. Without work people get bored and in most cases depressed. Working helps people keep themselves busy and active during their life. Besides by working people see themselves as useful and important part of the society. Another reason why people work is day to day communication with their co-workers clients or any people they meet because of their occupation. For example, my mother has achieved her retirement age, so she could just relax and do nothing for a while, because with her pension she receives enough money to live. But she continues to work as dressmaker for the clothing store. She says she needs this job, because it makes her feel younger, energetic, demanded and in general much better than if she were home all the time. In conclusion I would like to say that money is one, but I think not the only reason why people work. I believe that work has a positive effect on every person and helps people to live happy and meaningful life.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a professor and his assistant