TOEFL Essay Sample: A universal language should replace all languages

[Fawad]

Hi,
Hope every1 out there having wonderful time, I need ur support, coz within 3 week i will have Toefl Test, so i am confident about listening, Reading, Structure but worried about writing an essay , so just to check my ability , i typed my essay
about this topic within 30 min.. so plz any1 there , help me and score me..

A universal language should replace all languages

As my stance, I totally agree with universal language should replace all languages, I am going to write some reasons to support my stand.

First of all, it is very necessary that every human being should have understanding of each other feelings, traditions, customs, races and above all religion, so in this case only the language that they can communicate, must be the same.

Secondly, nowadays as we see and understand that, English is getting popular among people of this universe, also in some places I noticed that it creates a lot of problem for those who cannot understand or speak it, so if we pretend English as universal language and make it necessary for everyone to learn it, then there will be no problem at all.

Finally, people from different societies, countries, and races try to give more importance to their languages, which create a discordant situation and can be a good factor of a war. According to my point of view, languages group people and separate them from each other.

In conclusion, if I knew Japanese, Deutsch, French, Spanish, Hindi, Arabic, Persian, Russian etc... I would go to these countries and enjoy meeting them and their ways of living, but it is not possible for me to learn all these languages, only one way is possible that we all learn one language, that will be universal language.

What do you think, wht mistakes i hv in this topic and how much can i get in Toefl for writing ?