TOEFL essay samples: Why go to university?

[eybazigar]

Would you Please correct my essay and give me my score?

University is a gate to future. People go to university, because the want to increase their knowledge and they want better future.

People go to university to increase their knowledge. For instance, if I just have my school information, I can not do practical works. Information that we learned in schools is just basement. Most of today’s jobs need higher amount of practical information so if you want to know more and more, you must go to a university. Moreover the people who have university knowledge are one of elements of development country. Learning is the key to everything that we want to improve, so a higher education helps us widen our understanding

Also with studying in a university I will have a better future. For example if I have a higher education such as university degree, I will have a better job, I will find job easier and I will earn more money. In addition I have more respect in my family and society. For example in my country when people understand someone have university education, they will say “s/he is benefit for society”. Also a higher education will provide people will not only knowledge prepared for their careers, but also the fulfillment of their life goals. Clearly the ease of finding a job may play an important role in the decisions are people taking for a better future.

In conclusion, in my opinion people go to a university, because they want to increase their knowledge and they want a better future. A college or a university is a place when dreams can be fulfilled.