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Expression: "Everybody's bag in the garden put..."



 
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Expression: "Everybody's bag in the garden put..." #1 (permalink) Sun Nov 18, 2007 18:03 pm   Expression: "Everybody's bag in the garden put..."
 

Hi

Do you find the following sentence OK and natural?

Quote:
Everybody's bag in the garden put together was smaller than the giant's pouch.

Tom
Tom
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Joined: 30 May 2006
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Expression: "Everybody's bag in the garden put..." #2 (permalink) Mon Nov 19, 2007 0:33 am   Expression: "Everybody's bag in the garden put..."
 

.
That's a bit awkward, Tom. The 'in the garden' part is odd, and saying 'put together' with the singular 'bag' strikes me as a little odd, too.

I assume you mean that each of the people in the garden had a bag. How about something like this:
Everybody in the garden had a bag, but the giant's pouch was larger than all of their bags heaped/put together.
.
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