TOEFL® essay samples: Actions speak louder than words

[Natalina A]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Actions speak louder than words
Use specific reasons and examples to support your response.

Our life is full of events, duties and necessities. Day after day we get up early in the morning, hurry up, say hello to people in passing, do great amount of things and go to bed late at night. But in the course of our successful life we forget about the most essential thing – interaction with our relatives, friends and sweethearts. We promise our intimate people something and break our promises, say that we love them, but are unfaithful and do not have time for heart-to-heart talk. And though it seems, that nowadays we do not have enough time both for actions and words, I think we should think over before we are going to do something.

First, considering over this statement I remembered my childhood and the instructions of my parents towards me. It was rather hard for me to listen to them, because I really thought that their words were useless for me. At that time I did not know that they were wiser than me and wished me good. But when my Mom or Dad showed me an example, I tried to do it the same way without any words. Perhaps this experience is true for all children; all of them follow their parents and friends footsteps. Consequently, if parents smoke their child will smoke for sure conversely, if parents go info sport their child will also long to be healthy and sporty.

Another thing I thought over is that in grown up life actions are even more significant for us. If your sweetheart makes you a declaration in love and then kisses another person, will hisher words important for you? Vividly will not. Actually my boyfriend at the very beginning of our relations was not very talkative, because of his modesty. He did not tell me high-flow words, but the actions he did were very impressive and showed his attitude to me. I must confess that I felt very happy and understood that his actions were much more significant then the words, which he told me a little bit later.

Thus, I came a conclusion, that for me actions really speak louder than words. But sill the best case, to my opinion, is when your words match your actions.

[Natalina A]

Please, score it! I am very worried about this task

[Hakima]

I find your essay good.

[Alan]

Hi Natalina,

I have made some comments on your essay:

Our life is full of events, duties and necessities. Day after day we get up early in the morning, hurry up( ABOUT), say hello to people in passing, do A great amount of things and go to bed late at night. But in the course of our successful life we forget about the most essential thing – interaction with our relatives, friends and sweethearts. We promise our intimate people (THOSE CLOSE TO US) something and break our promises, say that we love them, but are unfaithful and do not have time for A heart-to-heart talk. And though it seems, that nowadays we do not have enough time both for actions and words, I think we should think over (ABOUT IT) before we are going to do something.

First, considering over (THINKING ABOUT) this statement I remembered my childhood and the instructions of my parents towards (TO) me. It was rather hard for me to listen to them, because I really thought that their words were useless for me. At that time I did not know that they were wiser than me and wished me good(WELL). But when my Mom or Dad showed me an example, I tried to do it the same way without any words. Perhaps this experience is true for all children; all of them follow (IN) their parents' and friends' footsteps. Consequently, if parents smoke, their child will smoke for sure,(TOO). Conversely, if parents go in foR sport, their child will also long to be healthy and sporty.

Another thing I thought over (ABOUT)is that in grown up life actions are even more significant for us. If your sweetheart makes you a declaration in love and then kisses another person, will his/her (THEIR) words BE important for you? Vividly will(ABSOLUTELY NOT!) not. Actually my boyfriend at the very beginning of our relationsHIP was not very talkative, because of his modesty. He did not tell me (USE) high-flowN words, but the (HIS)actions he did were very impressive and showed his attitude to me. I must confess that I felt very happy and understood that his actions were much more significant then the (HIS) words, which he told me a little bit later.

Thus, I came a (THE)conclusion, that for me actions really speak louder than words. But sTill the best case, to (IN)my opinion, is when your words match your actions.

This is a good piece of writing with only a few mistakes.

Alan
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Phrasal Verbs/run

[Natalina A]

thank you very much!!!

[Minhduc]

Hi, Natalia
My name is Minh Duc. I'm from Viet Nam.
I'm so impressed by your essay and the quote of George Carlin. I'm preparing for toefl iBT test too.
I wish to make friends with you. Do you agree?