TOEFL essay sample: Some people place a high value on loyalty to the employer...

[Alien]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Some people place a high value on loyalty to the employer. To others, it is perfectly acceptable to change jobs every few years to build a career. Discuss these two positions.

I think that degree of loyalty to the employer depends mostly on cultural differences. For example, in Asian countries people usually work on the same place for years and even decades. In western countries such as USA the situation is the opposite. People in USA usually change their job every year or several times a year.
In Russia which is my home country situation is somewhere in the middle. Some people can stay on the same place of work for years, while others perfer to change their job once in two or three years or more often.
I think both variants have their advantages and disadvantages. If you change your jobs often, you have an opportunity to find a best place where your abilities will meet requirements, and all other parameters such as salary, career opportunities and so on will suit you. You also can try different professions, testing your abilities and aquiring a diverse life experience.
Otherwise, if you work on the same place for many years, you can get a unique experience of coping with lots of different hard situations, essential skills of problem solving in this particular field. Besides, when you work with certain people for many years, you establish friendly relationship with them, what is also very important.
So, both strategies are equally good, every one of them has its advantages and disadvantages. Each of them may be more preferable for certain kind of people and certain cultures.
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Please evaluate my essay and tell me about my mistakes! I really need to learn to write them well.... Thank you! ^_^
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What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!

[maria20]

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