TOEFL® essay: In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students

[Donata]

please check in depth I implore...

TOEFL essay: In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

At present, we can easily notice that more and more teenagers have jobs during their studies. This phenomenon becomes so popular, thanks to its variety of advantages. As far as I am concerned, every student should gain a great experience from working and studying at the same time. In the next lines of my essay, I will try to prove my opinion by specific arguments.

Firstly, it is considered that the experience in the job market counts extremely. The vast majority of employers search for experienced young people and reject immediately the uninitiated applicants. As a result, students are even forced to take some part-time jobs which then will facilitate their professional career. In reality, if a teenager works odd jobs, simultaneously he will be supposed to get a better work.

Apart from this clearly payable reason for having jobs during studies there are other ones which should not be omitted. Is anyone who can deny that every additional experience enrich personality and strengthen confidence? These particularities are vitally important nowadays concerning a difficult choice of a career path and high rivalry in the job market.

Of course, there are people who argue that an optional job during studies leads into the unnecessary tiredness which in fact involve inadequate notes. These opponents are positive that studying should come first for every teenager or else he will not be able to focus on learning properly.

All in all, I strongly approve of taking odd jobs during studies, because it gives the unique possibility to become more responsible. The students who take the initiative and start working as quickly as possible, distinguish themselves by the huge maturity. Without a doubt, the best prize for these courageous teenagers are great career prospects which enable them to follow their dreams.

Best regards,
Donata

[Florida982]

hey I like your essay , particularly the style of your writing, although you use too much complicated words which confuses people who read it. You should try to express your thoughts in a simpler manner in order to be understood better.
Wen you're planning to take the test?