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TOEFL® essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents



 
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TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents #1 (permalink) Tue Jan 08, 2008 7:37 am   TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents
 

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Every child should be raised in a home with two parents.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays, raising children has been the concerns of all mankind because this period can determine the rest of their lives later. In fact, it is very essential for everyone to have both mother and father. Therefore, I support the idea that children should be raised in a home with two parents.

First of all, a child needs not only the mother but also the father. One of both plays a different role in raising their children. A child often wants to have her mother to talk about private problems such as her boyfriend, her class and so on. Besides, mother is always the person who understands her children most. Similarly, father can teach children about many things about the world and the life. Also, children want to play several games with their father such as football, baseball or just walking together. Thus, both of them are important in their children’s developments. Actually, receiving love from two people is always better than only one because love is endless and never sufficient with one’s desire.

Furthermore, raising by two parents also means that a child has a more stable finance to develop. As children need to study and live in a comfortable environment, their parents must have enough money for them to develop their mental as well as physical conditions. Thus, two people always make more money than only one. As a result, children can expose all their potentials as much as possible.

Finally, the lack of love from mother or father may hurt a child’s mind. For example, a little boy lives with his mother because his parents divorced. Then, whenever he goes to school, he hears his friends talk about their father and their families’ happy moments. Thus, he will feel sad and want to have father just like other children. In some cases, he feels unconfident and hesitates to make friends with others because he is afraid of others’ mock.

To sum up, I think it is better for children to be raised by two parents for above reasons. A typical family always has mother, father and their children because one of them is necessary for one another and hard to separate.

I've just written this essay. Can anyone check it for me? :oops:

TOEFL listening discussions: Why did the young woman sit in the rear seat of the car?
Superman
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 55
Location: Vietnam

TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents #2 (permalink) Wed Jan 09, 2008 11:43 am   TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents
 

Here is my essay.

In our modern world, besides traditional family model with children and both parents, there exist other types of family including single-parent family. However, in my opinion, I still think that a child should be raised in a home with both parents. I would like to explain my reasons here.
Firstly, to bring up a child, there are so many things to do. Therefore, just one parent, however hard he/she tries, will encounter many problems in managing to do all these things. In daily life, we can witness stressed single parent who becomes bad-tempered and shout at their children although they don't do anything wrong. On the contrary, both parents can divide work efficiently between each other and so they will have less pressure and less stress, which in turn can help to maintain a happy family life.
Secondly, I think that having both parents will provide the child's development with better balance because each parent has their own irreplaceable characteristics. For example, a father is in general stronger and braver than a mother and conversely, a mother is softer and more carefully. Consequently, lacking one parent will take from the child an example of the corresponding qualities. I know this very well from my own experience. My father went away when I was a child. My mother has been trying extremely hard to bring me up and I am so grateful for her devotion and her care for me. However, I have to admit that I can not develop completely some manly qualities such as determination, braveness and my capacity in sport is limited.

To sum up, a home with both parents will have less pressure and stress and will give a child sufficient conditions to develop completely. Any child deserves such a family and we should try our best to help more and more children have this kind of home.
Minhduc
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 17

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TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents #3 (permalink) Wed Jan 09, 2008 14:27 pm   TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents
 

Hi minhduc,
I think your essay is good.
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear your situation.
Ah,we are Vietnamese and we both want to take the Toefl exam,right?
Superman
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 55
Location: Vietnam

TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents #4 (permalink) Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:12 am   TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents
 

yeah, I will take the test on 13th :(, I have so little time to prepare
Minhduc
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 17

TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents #5 (permalink) Thu Jan 10, 2008 18:54 pm   TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents
 

superman wrote:
Hi minhduc,
I think your essay is good.
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear your situation.
Ah,we are Vietnamese and we both want to take the Toefl exam,right?


Hi superman and minhduc,

That was nice of you to give your thoughts to minhduc, superman. Now, I think it would be really great (and good for your own writing skills too) to explain why you think minhduc's writing was good... And, what you think could be improved... Perhaps make a small list for each?

Go on, go for it!

- Jason
EnglishRaven
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 09 Oct 2007
Posts: 72
Location: Melbourne Australia

TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents #6 (permalink) Fri Jan 11, 2008 5:08 am   TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents
 

minhduc wrote:
Here is my essay.

In our modern world, besides traditional family model with children and both parents, there exist(exists) other types of family including single-parent family. However, in my opinion, I still think that a child should be raised in a home with both parents. I would like to explain my reasons here.
Firstly, to bring up a child, there are so many things to do. Therefore, just one parent, however hard he/she tries, will encounter many problems in managing to do all these things. In daily life, we can witness stressed single parent who becomes bad-tempered and shout(shouts) at their children although they don't do anything wrong. On the contrary, both parents can divide work efficiently between each other and so they will have less pressure and less stress, which in turn can help to maintain a happy family life.
Secondly, I think that having both parents will provide the child's development with better balance because each parent has their own irreplaceable characteristics. For example, a father is in general stronger and braver than a mother and conversely, a mother is softer and more carefully. Consequently, lacking one parent will take from the child an example of the corresponding qualities. I know this very well from my own experience. My father went away when I was a child. My mother has been trying extremely hard to bring me up and I am so grateful for her devotion and her care for me. However, I have to admit that I can not develop completely some manly qualities such as determination, braveness and my capacity in sport is limited.

To sum up, a home with both parents will have less pressure and stress and will give a child sufficient conditions to develop completely. Any child deserves such a family and we should try our best to help more and more children have this kind of home.


I think minhduc's essay is well-organized and easy to understand just a few mistakes of grammar. :D .That is my thought, how about your?
And you forgot checking my essay? I'm looking forward for your response.
Superman
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 55
Location: Vietnam

TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents #7 (permalink) Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:01 am   TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents
 

superman wrote:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Every child should be raised in a home with two parents.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays, raising children has been the concerns of all mankind because this period can determine the rest of their lives later. In fact, it is very essential for everyone to have both mother and father. Therefore, I support the idea that children should be raised in a home with two parents.

First of all, a child needs not only the mother but also the father. One of both (Each of them) plays a different role in raising their children. A child often wants to have her mother to talk about private problems such as her boyfriend, her class and so on. Besides, mother is always the person who understands her children most. Similarly, father can teach children about(I think no prep is needed here) many things about the world and the life. Also, children want to play several games with their father such as football, baseball or just walking together. Thus, both of them are important in their children’s developments. Actually, receiving love from two people is always better than only one because love is endless and never sufficient with one’s desire.

Furthermore, raising(raised) by two parents also means that a child has a more stable finance to develop. As children need to study and live in a comfortable environment, their parents must have enough money for them to develop their mental as well as physical conditions. Thus Because two people always make more money than only one. As a result,(omit this) children can expose all their potentials as much as possible.

Finally, the lack of love from mother or father may hurt a child’s mind and soul. For example, a little boy lives with his mother because his parents divorced. Then, whenever he goes to school, he hears his friends talk about their father and their families’ happy moments. Thus, he will feel sad and want to have father just like other children. In some cases, he feels unconfident and hesitates to make friends with others because he is afraid of others’ mock.

To sum up, I think it is better for children to be raised by two parents for above reasons. A typical family always has mother, father and their children because one(each) of them is necessary for one another (the others) and hard to separate.

I've just written this essay. Can anyone check it for me? :oops:


You wrote a great essay, I think. It is well organized and includes persuasive reasons and examples.It just has some mistakes in grammar (I put them in red ).
Cheers :)
Minhduc
I'm new here and I like it ;-)


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 17

TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents #8 (permalink) Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:08 am   TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents
 

Thanks a lot.
I think both of us can help each other to improve much.
How old are you, minhduc?
Superman
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 55
Location: Vietnam

TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents #9 (permalink) Fri Jan 11, 2008 6:11 am   TOEFL essay: Every child should be raised in a home with two parents
 

Hi EnglishRaven, can you score our essays ?
Superman
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 55
Location: Vietnam

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