TOEFL essay: Working for a very large company that has several hundred employees

[Superman]

Some people prefer working for a very large company that has several hundred employees. Others prefer working for a small company where they know all of their co-workers. Which do you prefer?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinions.

Here is my essay:

Nowadays, getting an appropriate job is very difficult. However, where to work in a particular occupation also gains concern of many people. Some want to work for a very large company while others prefer working for a small company where they know all of their colleagues. In my opinion, I support to the former idea for several reasons.

First of all, a large company is often a company with the large scale, huge capital and professional operation. This means that its employees will good and comfortable working conditions. In fact, working in large companies brings us more opportunities to develop ourselves because those companies are properly international corporations or transnational enterprises. If we work for those companies, we can do business with other famous business partners in many important projects. Thus, it helps us to accumulate valuable experience as well as harmonize in the global economy more effectively.

Furthermore, working for a company that has several hundred employees is a good chance to meet and make friends with new people who may have same interests. That makes the work more exciting and a little new when we feel that the there are a lot of thins about the company we have not discovered. Also, we can learn a lot from those employees because most of excellent and skillful people often work for large companies.

Another advantage of working for a large company is that we can improve ourselves as much as possible. In fact, the more employees the company has, the harsher competitions we have to face with. By that way, employees must develop our skills or expose all the potentials in order not to be out of work. Thus, we will be more confident and successful.

In conclusion, I think it is more benefits for working people to getting a job in a large company because of above reasons. We properly encounter with more obstacles and challenges but we will have more chances to success and improve ourselves.

I think there are a lot of mistakes that I do not realize in this piece of writing, can you guys help me to check it?

[Minhduc]

Hi,
You wrote a good essay . I can see that you used good expressions such as "accumulate valuable experience", "expose potentials".
Good try, cheers.

[Minhduc]

[Superman]

Thanks a lot, minhduc. It's very kind of you to check my essay frequently.
When is your toefl exam?
Do you study at home or in a language center?

[Silvana_]

[Superman]

Hi Silviya,
I highly appreciate your comments and suggestions. There's no point in disappointing when receiving useful ideas to develop myself.
I know my writing has many problems and you are very kind to give opinion on it.
As you said, I will try to improve it.
See you in my next post.

[Superman]

Nowadays, getting an appropriate job is very difficult. However, where to work in a particular occupation also gains concern of many people. Some people want to work for a very large company while others prefer working for a small company where all colleagues will know each other. In my opinion, I support the idea of working for a large company..

First of all, a large company is often the company with a large scale, huge capital and professional operation. This means that its employees will have good and comfortable working conditions. In fact, working for large companies brings us more opportunities of developing ourselves because those companies are usually international corporations or transnational enterprises. If we work for those companies, we can do business with other famous business partners in many important projects. Thus, it helps us to accumulate valuable experience as well as to harmonize in the global economy more effectively.

Furthermore, working for a company that has a large amount of employees is a good chance to meet and make friends with new people who may have similar interests. That makes daily working more exciting and a little new when we feel that there are a lot of things about the company we have not discovered. Also, we can exchange experience and information with those employees because the most excellent and skillful people often work for large companies.

Another advantage of working for a large company is that we can improve ourselves as much as possible. In fact, the more employees the company has, the harsher competition we have to face with. As better employees will be treated well while others who can not show their important uses will be sacked, all of them must develop their skills and expose all the potentials in order not to be out of work. Thus, we will be more confident and successful.

In conclusion, I think it is more beneficial to get a job in a large company because all of the above reasons. We will properly encounter with more obstacles and challenges but we will have more chances to succeed and develop ourselves.

Does it sound better? I've just rewrited the essay following Silviya's suggestions.
However, somewhere I uesd the words 'we,us', I don't know how to find more appropriate words. Can you help me ?

[Silvana_]

[Superman]

Thanks a lot, Silvana.