#1 (permalink) Sun Jan 13, 2008 18:56 pm help me with this essay: about what happens in a day |
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Hi, everyone. My English writing teacher assigned me the topic: write short paragraph about what happens in a day. Here's my response:
My mother woke me up, telling me that it's time to go to work at the hospital as a volunteer. The chill of the morning made me unable to get up. A sore throat make me cough. I couldn't stop coughing, while the my throat became more and more painful. It took me more several minutes to win the undescribably vague state of body and mind. I went to the bathroom to wash, and then change the clothes. My mother was tidying up the rooms with week's worth of paper and clothes. Sister was studying. Looking at the clock, I found out that I had to reach the hospital within 5 minutes to be an on-time volunteer. Normally, it always take 15 minutes.
Could you please take a look at it and give comments. Are there any unidiomatic usage ? Please correct them for me ? What concrete and descriptive words you advise me to use ? For example, what word should I use in place of "made me unable to get up" ? I appreciate every idea. |
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Sympathy I'm here quite often ;-)
Joined: 08 Dec 2007 Posts: 100
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