Google
English-Test.net
Find penpals and make new friends today!
 
act of providing; provision; reserve; stock
passport
persuasion
examinee
supply
TOEIC prep test: Word games free: Online Noun Adjective Verb Game Answer
Dictionaries   TOEIC   TOEFL   GMAT   SAT   GRE   MCAT   PCAT   ASVAB   Interviews
Tests   Grammar   Articles   Stories   Shop   Services   Lesson Plans   Community
Home   Top 100   Start your FREE email English course now!   Audio Lessons
 
Username
Password
 Remember me? 
Search   FAQ   Memberlist   Profile   Private messages   Register   Log in 

Is my opening correct and well-formed?



 
ESL/EFL Worksheets and Handouts for Students Printable, photocopiable, clearly structured
Designed for teachers and individual learners
For use in a classroom, at home, on your PC
ESL Forums | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
how to use 'that'? | condition v.s. a condition
Message Author
Is my opening correct and well-formed? Mon Jan 14, 2008 22:02 pm  Is my opening correct and well-formed?		  
I'm currently writing an essay regarding politics that is going on in my country, and I seek for your opinion if the opening is interesting enough and if the overall style was correctly chosen by me.
Thanks in advance -
Code:
Rather an odd practice and manner of politics in contemporary Georgia was most likely inherited from the Soviet political gaming style that never included and never was used to a well-formed opposition; but rather to a harsh and monopolistic government fully under one party’s firm control and ideological guidance.

Adhering to these very principles and ideas back in the revolutionary days, the very contemporary government in control came to power in 2003 by means of peaceful protests that had gradually converted to a full-scaled bloodless revolution and followed up with the President subsequently relinquishing his rights to the favor of the dissidents that had been protesting the blatant wide-spread governmental corruption and complete negligence towards people which was extensively being felt within the country. None of the dissidents of that time had denied the worthiness of protests and neither had any of them denied such means of power shifting politically or ethically incorrect.

For the common people, the shift of power that had occurred back then was deemed of beneficial nature since they had hoped for a chance to live without constant poverty, unemployment and hunger knocking on their doors. Rather an odd note that the very same crowd of protestors that had been protesting in hopes of finally having their nation united and controlled by a dutiful governmental structure came out voicing their dissatisfaction yet again but this time to the very same people that they had earlier brought to power. Not only was it the majority of them people that rebuked, but also key political figures that also brought in a meaningful contribution for the cause.
BuddhaGeo
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 21 Dec 2007
Posts: 67
Location: Tbilisi, Georgia
Is my opening correct and well-formed? Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:44 am  Is my opening correct and well-formed?		  
You're using a Slavic, or let's say Eastern, writing style that is inappropriate for English (and French, by the way). In fact, one of my friends failed a translator certification exam because he transferred that style into English.

The first problem is that you are using enormously long, wordy sentences that need to be broken up to sound correct in English, because they become hard to follow. Use of the passive voice merely aggravates this.

Take your idea and write it in the same clear way you normally post to this forum, but slightly more formal. Then you will have the appropriate style for that English text, and native speakers will understand you.
Jamie (K)
I'm a Communicator ;-)


Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 4337
Location: Detroit, Michigan, USA
Are you a native speaker of English? Then you should read this!English grammar exercises — improve your English knowledge and vocabulary skillsCan you find all the prepositions in this story?Learn how to explore English words! Subscribe to free email English course
Is my opening correct and well-formed? Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:50 pm  Is my opening correct and well-formed?		  
I've rewritten it a bit. Tell me what you think.
Code:

Rather an odd practice and manner of politics in contemporary Georgia was most likely inherited from the Soviet political gaming style that never included and never was used to a well-formed opposition. Built solely on a harsh and monopolistic government fully under one party’s firm control and ideological guidance, the Soviet Union had hoped to exclude the possibility of anyone questioning their actions.

Adhering to these very principles and ideas, the contemporary government in control came to power in 2003 by means of peaceful protests, which had gradually started to convert into a full-scaled bloodless revolution, known as “Rose Revolution”.

The President, unable to cope with the dissidents that had been protesting the blatant wide-spread governmental corruption, vehemently relinquished his rights. The opposition leaders that came to power in result immediately called for Presidential elections, in which Saakashvili, the revolution’s key figure and instigator, won with an overwhelming vote.

For the common people, the shift of power that had occurred back then was deemed of beneficial nature since they had hoped for a chance to live without constant poverty, unemployment and hunger knocking on their doors.
Rather ironic that the very same crowd of protestors that had been protesting in hopes of finally having their nation united and controlled by a dutiful governmental structure; However, history repeated itself.

The massive crowd came out voicing their dissatisfaction yet again. Not only was it the majority of them people that rebuked, but also key political figures that also brought in a meaningful contribution for the cause. Many of them have even left their posts in protest and formed coalitions with the sole intent of yet again attempting to establish a government sans corruption.

Worth noting, that none of the dissidents of the “Rose Revolution” had denied the worthiness of protests and neither had any of them denied such means of power shifting politically or ethically incorrect. But today, they blatantly accuse and stamp everyone who calls for such actions as "terrorists".
BuddhaGeo
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 21 Dec 2007
Posts: 67
Location: Tbilisi, Georgia
Is my opening correct and well-formed? Wed Jan 16, 2008 20:56 pm  Is my opening correct and well-formed?		  
Updated my post, please see.
BuddhaGeo
You can meet me at english-test.net


Joined: 21 Dec 2007
Posts: 67
Location: Tbilisi, Georgia
Display posts from previous:   
how to use 'that'? | condition v.s. a condition
ESL Forums | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms Is my opening correct and well-formed? All times are GMT + 2 Hours
Page 1 of 1
Latest topics on ESL EFL Forums
'present unreal conditional' vs 'future unreal conditional' • Is "would" a tentative use in this sentence? • What is the plural of the word business? • meaning of the phrase "Happy Days" • Conditional (sentence about now or future) • maths expressions in English • the name of one of them • how to call the signs in an email address • Usage of "How can I help you?" • Verbs, how I don't love thee! • Expressions for "repeated to death" • Articles - do you find them the hardest part of English • Expression: "Your letter requesting the provision of the ..." • Expression: "He is open to his close friends." • The use of 'ing' after 'to' • The use of "why not" • Hi, I have a question on word usage. Thanks in advance • Meaning of "tie the knot" • Is my opening correct and well-formed?

Discover English-test.net
Gre 1140, toefl 280 • Difference between sit and stand • 'I find improbable to begin with…' • What does "in due course" mean? Is it an idiom? • Hello, I am Sami. I'm from Tunisia. • GRE vocabulary test: Vocabulary Building: English Noun Adjective • Free GRE test: Free word games online: Noun Adjective Game • Meaning of chalice, dormer, credo, notoriety, aviary, gesticulation, torrent • Pimsleur German, Comprehensive Course II: Pimsleur Approach to learn German • English correct: How to assess employees • English grammar quiz: International accounting standards (2)

 
 You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Provided by phpBB ©2001-2008 phpBB Group
Subscribe to FREE email English course written by Alan Townend
First name E-mail