TOEFL essay samples: A person you know is planning to move to your town or city

[lathar]

A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

I think the person whom I know, when moved to my own city definitely likes the place. In the following paragraphs I am going to explain why he loves to stay in my home town.

My home town is a metro city. It is well developed with all scientific and technological advancements in the society. He would definitely a good job in my city and lead a comfortable life. Our city also has many different sight seeing places and many more famous temples. My friend enjoys in visiting these places during week ends and holidays along with his family members. From this place, even transportation facilities are also good to many other cities as well as near by towns. He can catch trains or fly by air based on his personal interest and money he could spend. Moreover why he likes my home city is, it has more public transportation to different places, which allows him to save his money and energy. Different types of vegetables and fresh fruits are available through out the year in any season at an affordable price. Before getting into that city, it made easy to him to find address of any place as he contacted me in advance. I gave him a rough idea of the city.

In addition to this I have so many friends and even my parents living out in my home city where this person is planning to move. He likes our parents much. My friends will always help him in need. Moreover whenever he needs to go on camps or training in his job work, my parents will take care of his family.

So a person whom I know is always in a willing mind to move to my home city.

Thanks,
lathar

[Torsten]

Hello Latha,

Thanks for submitting your essay. Let's take a look at or two of your sentences at a time so have the opportunity to absorb all the information. We are going to make suggestions as to how each sentence could be changed and you can take part in this process too. Once we have amended some of your sentences we can then talk about the overall structure and contents of your essay.

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[Torsten]

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