TOEFL essay: For and against essay of having a pet

[Nasir89]

From this essay depends my further grade from english - so please help me !

For and against essay of having a pet

Pets have accompanied mankind since the dawn of history. Allegedly, the domestication of animals begun along with the Neolithic Revolution (approximately between 10-12 thousand years ago). Some people either hate or love this accompaniment. For sure, there are various disadvantages and advantages of having a pet, which I will try to point out in my essay.

In my opinion, one major advantage of having a pet is that they can replace people and become one of our nearest and dearest. For instance, if someone lives alone he would find it very enjoyable of having a pet. Furthermore, presence of an animal at home may provide greater feeling of security (especially when this pet is a dog). In addition to this, pets often play the main role in both, the handicapped and disabled people’s lives.

Nevertheless, keeping a pet involves lots of responsibilities. Firstly, there are some extra costs which appear along with animals. The pet-holder always needs to calculate constant expenses into budget, because his favourite requires food, equipment (cages, collars, aquarium, etc.) and probably veterinary treatment. Apart from this, if you decide to buy a pet you will certainly tied yourself up with this animal, because from this moment you will always have to, before going anywhere from town, take into consideration your pet's needs.

Taking everything into account, I realise that my stance in this matter is rather balanced. There are both good and bad sides of keeping a pet at home. In my opinion, everything depends on an individual character of the pet-owner, his particular relishes. I suppose that the relations between the animals and humans are as much diverse and complicated as they are between people themselves.

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Best regards from Poland !

[Mister Micawber]

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Overall, your ideas are good and are well-expressed, and your essay has a good basic structure. Nevertheless, I have suggested many corrections. Please compare your original and my revisions carefully.

Here are some points I noticed particularly: (1) don't change person unnecessarily, (2) avoid personal comments ('I think', 'I suppose', etc), and (3) avoid parentheses.

Pets have accompanied mankind since the dawn of history. The domestication of animals began in the Neolithic Revolution 10-12 thousand years ago. People either love or hate this companionship. There are advantages and disadvantages to having a pet, which are discussed below.

One major advantage of having pets is that they can substitute for people and become one of their nearest and dearest companions. For instance, if someone lives alone he will find a pet very enjoyable. Furthermore, the presence of an animal in the home may provide a greater feeling of security, especially when this pet is a dog. In addition to this, pets often play a major role in disabled people’s lives.

Nevertheless, keeping a pet involves many responsibilities. First, there are extra costs involved. The pet owner needs to budget for his pet's food, equipment (cages, collars, aquarium, etc.) and veterinary care. Apart from this, if a person decides to buy a pet, he will certainly tie himself up with this animal: from that moment he will always have to take into consideration his pet's needs before going anywhere.

Taking everything into account, the pros and cons are rather balanced. There are both good and bad sides to keeping a pet. Everything depends on the character of the individual pet owner, what he particularly relishes. The relations between animals and humans are as diverse and complicated as they are between people themselves.
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Canadian-American native speaker
who teaches English for a living at Mister Micawber's
ESL cafe: Interview with Mister Micawber

[Nasir89]

Thank you very much for help! I certainly will remember your clues

Regards,
Nasir