| #2 (permalink) Fri Mar 14, 2008 1:52 am TOEFL essay: For and against essay of having a pet
Overall, your ideas are good and are well-expressed, and your essay has a good basic structure. Nevertheless, I have suggested many corrections. Please compare your original and my revisions carefully.
Here are some points I noticed particularly: (1) don't change person unnecessarily, (2) avoid personal comments ('I think', 'I suppose', etc), and (3) avoid parentheses.
Pets have accompanied mankind since the dawn of history. The domestication of animals began in the Neolithic Revolution 10-12 thousand years ago. People either love or hate this companionship. There are advantages and disadvantages to having a pet, which are discussed below.
One major advantage of having pets is that they can substitute for people and become one of their nearest and dearest companions. For instance, if someone lives alone he will find a pet very enjoyable. Furthermore, the presence of an animal in the home may provide a greater feeling of security, especially when this pet is a dog. In addition to this, pets often play a major role in disabled peoples lives.
Nevertheless, keeping a pet involves many responsibilities. First, there are extra costs involved. The pet owner needs to budget for his pet's food, equipment (cages, collars, aquarium, etc.) and veterinary care. Apart from this, if a person decides to buy a pet, he will certainly tie himself up with this animal: from that moment he will always have to take into consideration his pet's needs before going anywhere.
Taking everything into account, the pros and cons are rather balanced. There are both good and bad sides to keeping a pet. Everything depends on the character of the individual pet owner, what he particularly relishes. The relations between animals and humans are as diverse and complicated as they are between people themselves.
Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's
Joined: 17 Jul 2005