The Informal Letter

Vishnya · Fri Mar 14, 2008 17:48 pm *The Informal Letter*

Hi,
I have a task to write an informal letter to my friend. I wrote it and ask you to check it stern. Please find all mistakes you can (grammar, vocabulary, spelling, style, use of language etc.). I ask you to be extremly strict with this letter cause better to find mistakes now, than on exam.
TIA, Jane. Very Happy

Here is my letter:

-----

Apartado 134,
141551 Almansa,
Spain
5/8/2008

Dear Lina,
I was glad to read your letter and I am sorry I did not write you so long but I had not such opportunity. As I promised you I write about my weekend in this letter.
This weekend became a journey as usual. On Saturday we packed up our things, got into the car and went to the Seliger. It is a lake in the Tver region, which is a very picturesque place. There is no highway, no civilization, no shops, bars, cars and others features of the big city. Here you can smell fresh air, feel the calmness, see the snow eventually.
At nine o'clock in the morning we met up with our friends and drove. The road took us about six hours; we drove through three hundred kilometers and when we were almost there – holly cow! – Our friends on their car met with an accident! The guy who was the driver was no able to make it and the car with two passengers on board was in the comb. The first few seconds there was a breathless silence. I was desperately afraid for my friends who were locked in the car. Then I hear a creak of the door and saw my friend. She and her husband were in a whole skin. The next problem was how to get the car out of the comb, because it was buried in the snow. Seeing our condition, my husband got the spade from his car and without a moment's hesitation started to dig. We were digging, cutting the branches, pushing and hauling the car and after three hours we got it out! There were a lot of dents in the car, scratches etc. but it still can pull and after fifteen minutes we were in loco. Our house was beautiful and comfortable and situated in the forest. We packed out our things, laid a fire, prepared supper on a fresh air and had a wonderful evening.
The next morning we had a breakfast and went to inspect the surroundings. There a lot of places to see. I have not seen so much snow for a long time, it is everywhere, it is blind and it is definitely white! We were playing, walking…and we were resting! In spite of all it was a great time, a great company and a great weekend! =)
Love,
Jane.

Torsten · Fri Mar 14, 2008 21:15 pm *The Informal Letter*

Hi Vishnya,

Thanks a lot for posting your letter. I hope it will be OK for you if we look at it one sentence or so at a time.

Vishnya · Mon Mar 17, 2008 8:59 am *The Informal Letter*

Hi, Torsten. Thanks for help. But is it all mistakes? Shocked

Alan · Mon Mar 17, 2008 12:25 pm *The Informal Letter*

Hi,

I have made some suggestions in capital letters:

Vishnya · Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:05 am *The Informal Letter*

Alan, thanks for your help. I have read your remarks and agree with you at all points except some of them. Can you explain your decision?

1) There is no highway, no civilization, no shops, bars, cars and others features of the big city. Why I can't use 'others'?

2) and when we were almost there – holy cow!-. Your variant was 'good grief!' Is 'Holy cow' a vulgar phrase?

3) and after fifteen minutes we were ON OUR WAY. I meant we have already been in health resort but not drivivng to it.

4) We were playing, walking.... Your variant was 'We were playED, walkED ..and we RELAXED'. I am at a loss! First of all why don't you like past continious? And if so, why do you use 'were played'. Maybe it is a misprint?

5) Comb is my mistake. You were right. I meant coomb, but ditch I like more.
TIA, Jane.

Rolling Eyes

Alan · Tue Mar 18, 2008 14:04 pm *The Informal Letter*

Hi,

'Other' is used here as an adjective and the plural stays with the noun 'features'. 'Holy cow' seemed a bit too violent for me! 'On our way' - my misunderstanding Perhaps: We had arrived/reached our destination. Clearly I left out the bracket and it should read: We were (WE PLAYED ..... The past continuous really needs to be linked to another verb somewhere in the past simple - 'while we stayed there' perhaps.

Alan
_________________
English as a Foreign Language
You can read my EFL story A day in the life of a parliamentary candidate

Vishnya · Tue Mar 18, 2008 14:53 pm *The Informal Letter*

Well, thanks again. But I really can't understand about Past Continious. Sad

Alan · Tue Mar 18, 2008 15:37 pm *The Informal Letter*

Hi,

Sorry about that - I'll have one more go. To me the past continuous is essentially a background tense and there is often an expectation that in the middle of the background 'was walking' or whatever something happened. Perhaps I would rephrase your sentence by saying: We spent the/our time playing, walking and relaxing.

How about that?

Alan
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Future

Vishnya · Tue Mar 18, 2008 16:00 pm *The Informal Letter*

Well, now It's clear. Smile

TIA, Jane.

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