TOEFL® essay: Are parents best teachers?

[Batdoi]

Please take a look at my essay. I would really appreciate any constructive criticism. Thanks a bunch.
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Topic #002
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Parents are the best teachers.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
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I strongly agree with the argument that parents are the best teachers. In reality, people have countless ways to absorb knowledge, learn how to be a good student as well as a good person. Some claim that schools and textbooks are the most important things to education. From my perspective, however, parents have the biggest impact on children, both academically and socially. It is them from whom we get the most care and attention, learn how to behave properly, and gain life experience.

The first point I would like to make is that parents are the most dedicated people to children. They not only spend time telling us everything they know about life and society, but also act as our wise mentor when we get problems. They share with us their knowledge and expertise with the most care and affection, which cannot be gained at schools, where teachers’ attention are shared among hundreds of students. In my case , my mom and dad always encourage and give me words of wisdom when I fail to get good grades at school, and bestow upon me the motivation to bounce back from failures.

Furthermore, parents have the most significant influence on children’s behavior and courtesy. Since kids grow up in the upbringing of parents, it is understandable that they often try to imitate their parents’ manners and conducts. To illustrate, a 5-year-old boy can adopt the act of handshaking to greet people from his father, which then become his habitual greeting for his whole life. Therefore, it is obvious that those parents with refined social demeanor are very likely to set examples for their children to follow to become a good citizen.

Finally, parents are generous and invaluable resources of the life skills and experience for children. There are tremendous things which books are simply unable to provide us, but which can only be achieved through experience and guidance of parents. Since I was a little kid, through basic skills of doing housework, my parents have taught me the most important thing: the importance of working and the responsibility of individuals in family and society. Moreover, from them I have acquired priceless life experience, like how to choose the right people to make friends, and how to stay positive when in the most stressful situations, which I always find very helpful in my life.

To sum up, parents play a major role in children’s education. And taking into account the dedication, impact on social behavior, and life experience they give and set on us, I can fully affirm parents are truly the best teachers.
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Thank all of you a lot.

[Alan]

Hi,

I've made some amendments in CAPITAL letters:

I strongly agree with the argument that parents are the best teachers. In reality, people have countless ways to absorb knowledge, TO learn how to be a good student as well as a good person. Some claim that schools and textbooks are the most important things IN education. From my perspective, however, parents have the biggest impact on children, both academically and socially. It is FROM them THAT we get the most care and attention,learn how to behave properly, and gain life experience.

The first point I would like to make is that parents are the most dedicated to children. They not only spend time telling us everything they know about life and society, but also act as our wise mentor when we MEET problems. They share with us their knowledge and expertise with the UTmost care and affection, which cannot be gained IN schools, where A teachers’ attention IS shared among hundreds of students. In my case , my mom and dad always encourage and give me words of wisdom when I fail to get good grades at school, and bestow upon me the motivation to bounce back from failures.

Furthermore, parents have the most significant influence on children’s behavior and courtesy. Since kids grow up in the upbringing of parents, it is understandable that they often try to imitate their parents’ manners and conduct. To illustrate MY POINT, a 5-year-old boy can adopt the act of handshaking to greet people from his father, which then becomeS his habitual greeting for his whole life. Therefore, it is obvious that those parents with A refined social demeanor are very likely to set examples for their children to follow to become a good citizen.

Finally, parents are generous and invaluable resources of the life skills and experience for children. There are tremendous things which books are simply unable to provide us, but which can only be achieved through THE experience and guidance of parents. Since I was a little kid, through basic skills of doing housework/HOMEWORK, my parents have taught me the most important thing: the importance of working and the responsibility of individuals in family and society. Moreover, from them I have acquired priceless life experience, like how to choose the right people to make friends WITH, and how to stay positive when in the most stressful situations, which I always find very helpful in my life.

To sum up, parents play a major role in children’s education. And taking into account the dedication, impact on social behavior, and life experience they give and set on us, I can fully affirm parents are truly the best teachers.

----------This is a good piece of writing. Remember that 'housework' is cleaning the house and 'homework' is set by a teacher for you to do at home after school.

Alan
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English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story In touch

[Fesa]

I think that person’s identity develops from his childhood, dreams and behavior. Parents are main person who greatly influence to upbringing of kids and later to reformation of certain character of person. Therefore, it’s true that parents are best teachers. In my essay, I will describe some ideas and reasons to support my approach.
First of all, I would like to mention little kids and parents. As it is known, many infants are very close only to their parents. They recognize and accept parents speech and care as it only one’s that acceptable. Any smile, gesture or teaching acts of parents followed by later adequate demonstration by their children. Thus I think that parential role in childhood greatly influences to kid’s development on many life aspects.
Secondly, educational and academic development directly involves parents interference . Why do I think so u can ask. Children cannot select right or better childcare service or primary school in early years . Parents will look for school names and qualities, they help to develop as well other musical or drawing skills referring to specialized school. Therefore, parents are the best teachers, in other words mentors of their child in selection or directing to right school.
Another view in this case, parents experience and management in family . The person’s character, and approach to life or to own family recalls the way of his life and past family relations were developed.
Adult’s morale and further behavior bases on parent’s morale and behavior . Thus parents are important and most influential person in education of children.
To sum up, I would say that parents shape the person’s life and education. These will put them as a best teachers of person.

[Alan]

Hi,

Comments are in CAPITAL LETTERS:

I think that A person’s identity develops from his childhood, dreams and behavior. Parents are THE main PEOPLE who greatly influence THE upbringing of kids and later IN SHAPING A CHILD'S CHARACTER. Therefore, it’s true that parents are THE best teachers. In my essay, I will describe some ideas and reasons to support my approach.
First of all, I would like to mention little kids and parents. As is known, many infants are very close only to their parents. They recognize and accept THEIR parents' speech and care as it IS THE only one’s that acceptable. Any smile, gesture or teaching acts of parents followed by later adequate demonstration by their children. Thus I think that parental role in childhood greatly influences A kid’s development IN many life aspects.
Secondly, educational and academic development directly involves parents . Why do I think so YOU MAY ask? Children cannot select right or better childcare service or primary school in early years . Parents will look for school names and qualities, they help to develop as well other musical or drawing skills referring to THE CHILD TO A specialized school. Therefore, parents are the best teachers, in other words mentors of their child in SELECTING or directing THEM TO THE right school.
Another view in this case, parents' experience and management in THE family . The person’s character, and approach to life or to THEIR own family recalls the way IN WHICH THEIR life and past family relations were developed.
AN Adult’s moralS and FUTURE behavior IS baseD on A parent’s moralS and behavior . Thus parents are important and THE most influential person in THE education of children.
To sum up, I would say that parents shape the person’s life and education. These will MAKE them CHILDREN'S best teachers.

Alan
_________________
English as a Foreign Language
You can read my EFL story A day in the life of a parliamentary candidate

[Batdoi]

Thank you a lot Alan! It's a shame I always make stupid grammar mistakes:oops:

To everyone, I would love to hear specific comments about the organization, ideas, word choice and fluidity of my essay.

Thank you.

[Fesa]

Thxs Alan,
U are very helpful

[Amoolh]

Every person in this life has two special teachers;parants are the best teachers that
a person will ever have.Parants are the most committed teachers with thier chhildren.they teach us how to talk ,swim ,play ,walk,dance and how to react with good manners.
Almost for sure,our parants are ones of the best teachers that a person have.they started teach us from the early stages of our lives.they teach us how to walk,talk,swim,and how to behavior with good manners.
parants are mostly gaining a big responsiblity as their childern grow up.As the parants started to be the partners of their childern.trying to share them their best moments and trying to share them every thing in their lives.For instance,parants will try to know their childern,s friends.
in conclusion,parants will be our best teachers forever.they teach to see their childern smiling .They give us rvrything we want during our lives.
please evaluate this essay and correct the mistakes
thanks in advance