TOEFL essay: Why do u think people attend college or university?

[fesa]

Hi everybody,
pl help me to rate my first essay.

People attend college or university for many different reasons(for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge) Why do u think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

College or university education is very important and valued in world labor market today. While many people have different goals to attend college or university , in my opinion they study there for variety of reasons; such as self-development, career preparation, confidence and for successful life later. In my essay paragraphs I will list some reasons and examples to support my view on this issue.

First of all, higher education is key for self-development. Any person who intends to progress in this high-speed life certainly will think about advancement in education. Nowadays knowledge and skills learned in universities greatly influence to person’s thinking and acting abilities. For example, learning biology or science will develop in person strong mind, analytical and research skills .Thus, graduate is totally different from the persons back than, he reforms himself as self-determined, smart , motivated and goal-oriented person owing to the university education.

Secondly, breath-taking future career features is another reason to attend University. I think that correctly chosen major could be good start for the career path. Therefore many students select their university and college according to their goal and vision to built prospering future career. My friend from my country attend to one of the top-schools of world Oxford University and became lawyer in international company. This is because her career path started with best school degree and create easy way to achieve goals.

Another reason in my view is confidence along with desire for better life-style .I believe that college degree will open doors to better and comfortable life. Many students want to study in college in order to obtain some confidence about law, business and world around. Education trains and prepares person to be confident and successful in life. I read that many businessmen study to gain essential knowledge and confidence to open own business .

In conclusion , I think that many people go to school or university for self-development, career and good life-style. Thus, the self-development, career and better life are main interest driven them to attend to university or college.