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TOEFLŽ essay: If you could change one important thing about your hometown...



 
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TOEFL essay: If you could change one important thing about your hometown... #1 (permalink) Wed Apr 02, 2008 20:23 pm   TOEFL essay: If you could change one important thing about your hometown...
 

hello, please rate my essay!

Topic 006: If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change?

I live in a city of a poor country. I have been living there since I was born, so I know what the stingy problem of my hometown is. Business of my dear city has not developed yet. People still has low living level. Frankly, the main reason is bureaucratic procedure.

Firstly, the procedure is so complicated that having legal business documents has many challenges. For example, if a man wishes to start a business, he has to spend at least 3 months to hold all authorized documents in his hand because, according to the bureaucratic authorized official, he has to knock each office’s door about twice or three times a day. The reason is these officials have to solve their own works: having breakfast, coming back home for preparing meal, bring their children after school, and so on. They are unreasonable reasons, but they still exit. In estimation, he must have spent a week on having each red authorized sign, and he must have had 20 ones regularly. Totally, it must have taken him 20 weeks or 5 months.

Secondly, the procedure changes every year. Just after he got the new procedure regulation, he has studied the newest one. This is a poor man because he always lags behind it. As a result, if he is late in seeking the lawful authorized some days, he will wait until a new one, which is the most updated.
Finally, these disadvantages are challenges that bother investors. Despite of many attracted resources, such as: low-paid labor, coal resource, various animals, beautiful sights, they are undecided about their investment. It is one of indirect reason why my city is still poor. I wish my city and country would be develop in future. To practice my wish, changing bureaucratic procedure is emergency thing.

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Thanhsoi
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TOEFL essay: If you could change one important thing about your hometown... #2 (permalink) Tue Apr 22, 2008 17:05 pm   TOEFL essay: If you could change one important thing about your hometown...
 

I live in a very beautiful town, placed at the shore of the Black Sea. You can find almost everything in my town: leisure centres, malls, supermarkets, resorts, cinemas, huge parks, clubs, pubs, rinks, theaters etc. At a glance, it looks like a perfect place to live in. And it is. It's difficult to think of something that I would change. We have an wonderful mayor, who is loved by everybody. Well, by almost everybody... because, last year, he did a very serious mistake: he didn't reejct teh aide of some bussinessmen to deforest an important area from the nearby park, allowing a supermall to be built. The dwellers therefore were very upset by this decision, and protests took place. The trees whici were condemn to fell, were inscribed with texts as "I am the tree no.150, and I will die soon". It was terrible sad to watch that. Now a serious part of the park who it used to be so lively and beautiful, have been chopped, being replaced with parking lots and the mall itself. I decided neither to visit, nor to buy antthing from that mall, as a form of protest, or a boycott. Therefore, if there is something that I would really like to change in my beautiful town, would be that mall, who I d like vanished.
An3mona
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Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 18
Location: Romania

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