Google
English-Test.net
Find penpals and make new friends today!
 
extension of an archived file compressed with a special program; type of drive using removable disks
hazard
climb
reply
ZIP
full quiz correct answer
 
Username
Password
 Remember me? 
Search   Album   FAQ   Memberlist   Profile   Private messages   Register   Log in 

Can I phrase it this way?



 
ESL/EFL Worksheets and Handouts for Students Printable, photocopiable, clearly structured
Designed for teachers and individual learners
For use in a classroom, at home, on your PC
ESL Forums | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
Is there any "liveshow" or "live show" in English? | Is the text written correctly?
listening exercisestell a friend
Message
Author
Can I phrase it this way? #1 (permalink) Sun Apr 06, 2008 23:21 pm   Can I phrase it this way?
 

Hello everyone
I'd like to ask if it is correct to phrase the following sentence this way:

At the stage of processing and analysis of obtained data, as well as of elaboration of a system for Soft Skills training programs adaptation, YYY consultants used the successful experience of realization of similar projects in companies such as AAA, BBB and some others.

I'm not sure about "as well as of elaboration of a system." Maybe it's better to say "and elaboration of a system"?

And if the intended meaning is "creation of a system" which word fits better into the context -- "elaboration" or "working out"?
Klpno
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 17 Jun 2007
Posts: 485

Can I phrase it this way? #2 (permalink) Tue Apr 08, 2008 7:06 am   Can I phrase it this way?
 

.
You are burying your reader in verbiage.

In processing and analysing data and creating a system for Soft Skills training program adaptation, YYY consultants used their experience with similar projects in companies such as AAA and BBB.
_________________
Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's
Mister Micawber
Language Coach


Joined: 17 Jul 2005
Posts: 13015

How do you use the English Prepositions correctly?English grammar exercises — improve your English knowledge and vocabulary skillsAre you a native speaker of English? Then you should read this!Start exploring the English language today! Subscribe to free email English course
Can I phrase it this way? #3 (permalink) Tue Apr 08, 2008 11:44 am   Can I phrase it this way?
 

Thank you very much, Mister Micawber!
Klpno
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 17 Jun 2007
Posts: 485

Display posts from previous:   
Is there any "liveshow" or "live show" in English? | Is the text written correctly?
ESL Forums | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Page 1 of 1
Latest topics on ESL EFL Forums
What does "yielding" mean in this context?Where or what!stakeholder vs. shareholderSome more questions about the last two stories of Jungle BookDoubt! (It's too hot today that this fan is...)question for answer 3 vs. question to answer 3customer retention vs. customer relationscash point training?Sentence correction: My project manager has decided and told us to convene a meetExpression: "Sweep under the carpet"Usage of the verb "Come back"Sentence correction: Ever Friday night, I feel Frustration after i complete my...Appropriate Adjective

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Subscribe to FREE email English course
First name E-mail