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Is the text written correctly?



 
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ESL Forums | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
Can I phrase it this way? | customer retention vs. customer relations
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Is the text written correctly? Mon Apr 07, 2008 13:04 pm  Is the text written correctly?
 

Hello everyone

I'd like to ask if the following text is written correctly.

While carrying out the project consultants from YYY had some difficulties in gathering data relating to specific activities in some sections and departments of XXX. Initially, to make the task easier workshops were planned, and 8-10 employees were supposed to take part in them. However, since it was impossible to gather together several employees (from department or section) at the same time the decision was taken to conduct individual interviews with employees.
During the interview all respondents admitted the importance of conducting this project and expressed their willingness to provide assistance to support the initiative of T&D department to increase the effectiveness of training for XXX staff at Soft Skills trainings. At the same time, managers of XXX functional divisions suggested a number of recommendations for improving the teaching process at Soft Skills trainings.
Klpno
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Joined: 17 Jun 2007
Posts: 328

Is the text written correctly? Tue Apr 08, 2008 8:02 am  Is the text written correctly?
 

.
You need to be briefer and you need to use commas; your original text was difficult to understand. You have also failed to learn that 'training' is uncountable, though I have corrected it for you several times now.

While carrying out the project, YYY consultants had difficulty gathering data on specific activities in some divisions of XXX. To make the task easier, workshops were planned, and 8-10 employees were supposed to take part in them. However, since it was impossible to gather several employees at the same time, they decided to conduct individual interviews instead.

During the interview, respondents admitted the importance of this project and expressed their willingness to assist the T&D department in increasing the effectiveness of XXX staff training at Soft Skills. Managers of XXX functional divisions also made a number of recommendations for improving the teaching process.
.
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Is the text written correctly? Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:48 pm  Is the text written correctly?
 

Thank you very much, Mister Micawber!!
Klpno
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 17 Jun 2007
Posts: 328

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Can I phrase it this way? | customer retention vs. customer relations
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