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Is the announcement OK?



 
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ESL Forum | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
Error correction: My brother has been getting so nervous with me recently... | what or who? (He is ... is known as a hacker ... he likes to show off on the)
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Is the announcement OK? Wed May 07, 2008 9:06 am  Is the announcement OK?
 

Hi All,

I was asked to create an announcement. I received some announcement in the past that sounds good but I want you to check it.

Please have a look at it:

Mr ......has joined to our company as a Managing Director.

In this role he will directly report to undersigned.

He brings many years of experience in the passive electronics market business to our company, having held logistics and sales positions in the industry for many years.

Please join us in wishing him success and pleasure in this role and provide him with your maximum support and co-operation.
Attila
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 127
Location: Hungary

Is the announcement OK? Wed May 07, 2008 9:37 am  Is the announcement OK?
 

Hi,

Some comments in bold letters:

Mr ......has joined ('to', no preposition needed) our company as ( I assume he is the only one, if so either 'the' or no article a) Managing Director.

In this role he will ( report directly to the undersigned.) directly report to undersigned.

He brings many years of experience in the passive electronics market business to our company, having held logistics and sales positions in the industry for many years.

Please join us in wishing him success and (enjoyment ?)pleasure in this role and ( offer him /provide him with) your maximum support and co-operation.

To be honest I don't know what 'passive electronics' means and as a result I can't comment on that.

Alan
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Is the announcement OK? Wed May 07, 2008 13:07 pm  Is the announcement OK?
 

Thanks for the answer.

'passive electronics' are for example resistors an capacitors.
Attila
I'm here quite often ;-)


Joined: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 127
Location: Hungary

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Error correction: My brother has been getting so nervous with me recently... | what or who? (He is ... is known as a hacker ... he likes to show off on the)
ESL Forum | English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms Is the announcement OK? All times are GMT + 2 Hours
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