What is this adjective in English?

[nessie]

Hi,
I'm wondering about a word in my mother tongue which I don't know how to translate into English (I've looked it up in my bilingual dictionary, but found no satisfactory answer. (It's an adjective)

It's hard to express this question but please consider these two contexts:

1/ I'm having some friends in my house and I tell them: "Hey guys, don't be ___ Just feel like at home.
2/ My new friend talks to me in rather formal way, and I say to her "No need to be so ___ We are friends, aren't we?"
3/ My friend writes to me to say sorry for not replying my letter in a long time, and I say: "Don't be ___ we are friends and I know you're busy lately

Actually I just don't know how to express myself clearly but I hope you can understand what I mean and tell me what the word is in English

Many thanks in advance
Nessie
_________________
... something we never have again, I know... I guess I really really know..

Sorry seems to be the hardest word...

[rajin]

Shy, bashful, formal?

[Jamie (K)]

We wouldn't use just one adjective for that. It depends on what we mean.

1/ "Hey guys, don't be shy, timid, formal, stiff, reserved Just make yourselves at home.
2/ "No need to be so formal, stiff, reserved. We are friends, aren't we?"
3/ "Don't feel guilty we are friends and I know you're busy lately.

[rajin]

I think formal would work for all 3 of those. In the 3rd example "don't be so formal! we are friends!" works perfectly fine.

[nessie]

Thanks a lot, Jamie and Rajin

I think "formal" or "reserved" may be what I'm looking for

[nessie]

And I also have one more question: which is the most common adjective accompanied with "formal"? Is it "to" or "with"?

Many thanks
Nessie

[Yankee]

Hi Nessie

Presumably you want to know which preposition to use.
"You don't have to be formal (with me)."

I suppose people might also say 'to me'. You'll probably hear 'around me' as well, for example.
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Amy
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ESL teacher, translator, and a native speaker of American English

[nessie]

Thanks a lot for your answer, Amy. And sorry for my typo ("adjective" => preposition) (+_+)

[Molly]

[Jamie (K)]

There's nothing wrong with putting "hey, guys" and "reserved" in the same sentence. After all, it's the "guys" who are being reserved, not the speaker.

[Molly]

[Yankee]

To be honest, Molly, you don't seem to know much about register either.
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_________________
Amy
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ESL teacher, translator, and a native speaker of American English

[Molly]

I'm discussing it. You?

[nessie]

[Molly]