TOEFL® essay samples: About the role of computer

[Phuong Thao]

can you correct for my essay? thanks a lot

Whether or not computers are necessary for improving education is a controversial question.some people say that computers should be forgotten whereas others argue that they are useful tools to improve education. I am better convinced of the latter opinion for the reasons below ( should i write this sentence in introduce???)
Firstly, computers are one of the richest and up-to date resources of education.A computer can save a large amount of information and it takes less time for teachers and students to search for information rather than finding it in books. Moreover, the knowledge on the Internet is often updated to meet the demands of teaching and learning. It is clear that computers bring forth many advantages to education.

Secondly, computers are useful tool to improve old-fashioned education, namely the methods of teaching and learning.For example, in the past, teachers only used blackboard, chalk and books to impart the knowledge and the students only wrote down all the things their teacher talked about.The lesson with only theories became boring and monotonous especially in some subjects as history.Thanks to computers, all has changed.Teachers use computer softwares for examplePowerpoint to show images, video clips illustrating their lessons, thus attracting the students' attention.Besides, the students can express their ideas more independently with presentation skill supported by computers.Furthermore, owing to computers man can eliminate the disadvantages in education.For instance , in Viet Nam the goernment saved a mount of money when using computers to take notes in the entrance exam for university.Also, this makes exams more equal.

Finally, computers are one of the element enhancing the total development of education.All difficulties about time and distance preventing people from studying have been solved. A typical example is that from people living in remote areas, housewifes having little time to the people in Africa or even in North Pole can still studying by enrolling the remote courses on the Internet.As a result of it, education will be widespread in all places.In addition, through Internet people can share knowledge and experiences about education and thus enhancing globalization of education

for the reasons above, i believe that computers are of benefit to the improvement of education.