TOEFL essay: Some people spend their entire lives in one place.

[Butterfly]

Hi guys! I'll be extremely thankful if u have a look at my essay and correct it where needed! Many thanks!

TOEFL topic: Some people spend their lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer:staying in one place or moving in search of another place?

Although many people do not like changes and prefer not to look for other places to live, work, or study, I would not like to spend my whole life in one place. Moving in search of another place to live and work can be a rewarding, enriching, and unforgettable experience.
First, moving in another area in search of a better job, house, or community is indeed an experience to remember. The important decision of changing one’s social environment, area, and familiar background will inevitably affect one’s life. Not only is this decision hard to take, but it also requires one to be exceptionally self-confident, mature, and independent. Moreover, people often have to take such decisions, for life often confronts them with problems which must be sorted out. The decision to move out may have disadvantages, but, in time, they will be outweighed ny the advantages. It is important to take crucial decisions in life, for one can progress only if he does the right action in the right moment.
Furthermore, moving in a different environment is certainly an enriching experience. Having taken the vital decision, one will be exposed to new cultures, philosophies, and values. Consequently, one will advance one’s general knowledge and will make many new friends. Thus, one will certainly improve one’s social skills. Changing the job, home, or community will have a beneficial effect on one’s social life and will enrich one’s knowledge.
Finally, changing one’s home, job, or community can be indeed rewarding. This is especially true if the person is young, for he or she will develop a certain set of characteristics, and he or she will prove his or her maturity. People who have taken the crucial decision to move in a different community certainly demonstrate exceptional courage, bravery, and determination. They conduct themselves in a way showing that they are mature, self-confident, and independent. From a psychological point of view, moving in a foreign environment is important to one’s intellectual development.
As seen above, it is very true that changing one’s home, job, or community is highly beneficial. For this reason, I would prefer to change my environment so that I can find a better place to live, work, or study.

[Sipa2008]

Hi Butterfly, Please let me give you another expression for this:" Moving from one place to another in order to live, work so it could be a rewarding, enriching and unforgettable experience." What do you think???? Silvina.

[Kaiju]

Although many people would like to spend their whole life in one place, I like changes and prefer to look for other place to live, work, or study. FOR ME moving in search of another place to live and work can be a rewarding, enriching, and unforgettable experience.

First, moving TO another area in search of a better job, house, or community is TRULY an experience to remember.INDEED, The decision of changing the social environment, area, and familiar background will inevitably affect my life. Not only is IT hard to take, but it also requires me to be exceptionally self-confident, mature, and independent. (Moreover, people often have to take such decisions, for life often confronts them with problems which must be sorted out. The decision to move out may have disadvantages, but, in time, they will be outweighed my the advantages. It is important to take crucial decisions in life, for one can progress only if he does the right action in the right moment.) (I THINK YOU WERE REPEATING YOUR IDEA ABOVE)

Furthermore , moving TO a different environment is certainly an enriching experience. AFTER having taken the vital decision, I will be exposed to new cultures, philosophies, and values. Consequently, I will advance my general knowledge and make many new friends. Thus, I will certainly improve my social skills. SO I THINK THAT changing the job, home, or community will have MANY beneficial effectS on MY social life and enrich MY knowledge.

Finally, SUCH DECISION can be rewarding. This is especially true if the person is young, for he or she will develop a certain set of characteristics, and he or she will prove his or her maturity. People who have taken the crucial decision to move in a different community certainly demonstrate exceptional courage, bravery, and determination. They conduct themselves in a way showing that they are mature, self-confident, and independent. From a psychological point of view, moving in a foreign environment is important to one’s intellectual development.( IN THIS PASSAGE I CAN’T FIGUE OUT HOW TO CORRECT IT WITHOUT CHANGING YOUR ORIGINAL IDEA)

As seen above, it is very true that changing one’s home, job, or community is highly beneficial. For this reason, I would prefer to change my environment so that I can find a better place to live, work, or study.

[Sipa2008]

Could somebody explain me the different between in search of and look for???????????