TOEFL essay example: The Qualities of Good Parents

[Kt_Tammy]

Hi everyone, Could you please comment my TOEFL essay? I would like to know whether there are any incorrect grammar or any errors. Thank you very much.

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Children will grow up to be good adults depending on their parents. Parents influence children's mental and intelligence. Therefore, to be good parents should have the following qualities for raising their kids.

First of all, parents should have patient for their children. Kids need time to develop both physical and mental. For example, babies need time to bigin to talk and walk. Parents should have enough patient to practice them in proper ways.

Secondly, parents ought to have enough time for their children. Especially, when they are in primary school and high school. Children need parents to advise them about life lessons, morality and so on.

Thirdly, being good people is the important quality of parents. Many times we can see that children manipulate their parents' behaviors. For instance, if parents like to read books, their kids problably tend to love books too. However, if parents usually smoke, their children will try to smoke when they have a chance. The children will think that it is not wrong to smoke because their parents did it.

In conclusion, I think that good parents can raise their children to be good adults in the future. To be good parents requires the important qualities, which are patient, time and good manner.