Check my email: The issue that is most likely to be picked up by the revenue...

[Englishlearner25]

Dear Torsten,

Thank you for your message.

Following is an email i recently sent a client. I have censored some bits. Would it be possible for you to comment on this. Or if possible suggest a nicer/better way of phrasing some of the sentences.

Dear xxxx,

The issue that is most likely to be picked up by the revenue is that of transfer pricing.

XXX is a large company and as a consequence subject to UK transfer pricing rules. These rules state that the transaction should be undertaken on an arms length basis.

Section 2.1 of the agreement states that the arms length principle is applied to these transactions. It would be advisable to obtain prior consent from the revenue. The inland revenue might also require documentation for how the transfer price was determined.

I cant think of any other direct taxation consequences from XXXX perspective. There are no VAT issues effecting LCM.
The chinese company would be subject to Chinese tax laws, presumably the Chengdu team have looked into that.

Under section 3 of the agreement LCM is liable for withholding tax. The WHT rate for UK remitances to China is 10% (http://www2.xxxxxxxxxf).

I hope you find this information useful.

Apologies for not being of any further assistance. xxxxx is expected to be in office tomorrow, he may be able to further assist you with your queries.

[Alan]

Hi,

Some suggestions in CAPITAL letters:

Dear xxxx,

The issue that is most likely to be picked up by the Revenue is that of transfer pricing.

XXX is a large company and as a consequence subject to UK transfer pricing rules. These rules state that the transaction should be undertaken on an arm's length basis.

Section 2.1 of the agreement states that the arm's length principle is applied to these transactions. It would be advisable to obtain prior consent from the Revenue. The Inland Revenue might also require documentation ON how the transfer price was determined.

I can't think of any other direct taxation consequences AS FAR AS XXXX IS CONCERNED. There are no VAT issues Affecting LCM.
The Chinese company would be subject to Chinese tax laws, presumably the Chengdu team have looked into that.

Under section 3 of the agreement LCM is liable for withholding tax. The WHT rate for UK REMITTANCES to China is 10% (http://www2.xxxxxxxxxf).

I hope you find this information useful.

PLEASE ACCEPT MY apologies for not being of any further assistance. xxxxx is expected to be in THE office tomorrow. He may be able to further assist you with your queries.
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English as a Second Language
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[Englishlearner25]

Dear Alan,

Firstly thank you for taking your time to review my email and providing suggestions.

May I ask why you replaced, documentation for how the transfer price was determined to documentation ON how the transfer price was determined. I want to understand the principle behind it. I think this is definitely a weakness in my writing. I always get my on, of, for, etc wrong.

Would it also be possible for you to recommend ways to improve and work on this error. Perhaps any tests within this website that you are acquainted with?

Many Thanks.

[Alan]

Hi,

Let me make a distinction here - 'documentation for' suggests to me paperwork necessary to complete a particular process/procedure. But in your sentence the documentation is needed, I understand, to explain the way something was worked out and that's why I suggested 'on' or it could as well me 'about'. In other words the paperwork isn't just a requirement as it's meant to describe how something was worked out.

I hope that clarifies my reason for the change.

Alan

PS On the general question of prepositions you might want to look at a couple of articles I've done for the site: How I got that job and the one following that in the list: Spot the preposition.
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English as a Foreign Language
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