Joke (I flattened your cat)

[Nessie]

Hi, please have a look at this joke:

I FLATTENED YOUR CAT
Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat*... he flattened the cat.
Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around
and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the
housewife came to the door, said he, "Pardon memadame, but I just ran
over a cat in front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to
you. I know this might be hard to hear, but I wanted to let you know
instead of just driving off...."
"Not so fast", says she. "How do you know it was our cat? Could you describe him? What does he look like?"
The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said "He looks like thts"as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression.
"Oh no, you *horrible* man", she replied. "I meant, what did he look like*before* you hit him?"
At that, the man got up, covered his eyes with both hands and screamed"Agggghhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!"

=> I have 2 queries about the joke:
1/ Is the first sentence grammatically correct? (I find the syntax "Seems a guy was driving..." very odd)
2/ Once again, please excuse me for my dumbness, but I can't see anything funny about this joke. Why did the man scream? Could anybody please explain it for me?

Thank you very much
Nessie
_________________
... something we never have again, I know... I guess I really really know..

Sorry seems to be the hardest word...

[Nessie]

Hic, if you really think this is a nonsense story, please at least answer my first question (+_+)
_________________
... something we never have again, I know... I guess I really really know..

Sorry seems to be the hardest word...

[Yankee]

Hi Nessie

First off, can I ask you why you often write 'Hic'? The reason I ask is that I always understand that to mean that you're hiccoughing. The word 'Hic' is also often used to represent a sound a drunk might make.

The first sentence (and in fact the entire joke) is supposed to sound informally conversational. Basically, the word 'It' has been omitted from the beginning of the first sentence.

As to your second question, in the joke, the driver first imitated a dead cat. He then did what he apparently thought would be an appropriate imitation of the cat just before it was hit by a car: The cat covered its eyes and screamed.

(I don't think the joke is terribly funny either.)
.

[Nessie]

Thanks a lot for your comment about the use of "hic", Amy
Actually I don't know it implies the meaning of hiccoughing or of a drunk. I am just... affected (without awareness) by my native language usage. When somebody says "hic", usually they mean something... not really crying, but just like... complaining (because something bad or disappointing has happened)

I'm terribly sorry if I've vexed you by using it.
_________________
... something we never have again, I know... I guess I really really know..

Sorry seems to be the hardest word...

[Yankee]

[Lost_Soul]

Hi, Amy

When I saw "hic" I instantly thought of this word "hick"

[Nessie]