GRE® essay: Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record...

[Vu Bao Giang]

Hope you guys can help me out with this essay for GRE. I have no idea about it, as I'm just trying to prepare for it on my own
Thanks a bunch for your help!!!
Give your perspective on the issue below:
Most people would agree that buildings represent a valuable record of any society’s past, but controversy arises when old buildings stand on ground that modern planners feel could be better used for modern purposes. In such situation, modern developments should be given precedence over the preservation of historic buildings so that contemporary needs can be served.
To any society, the preservation of historic buildings is of great importance, because these are places where people’s colorful past is recaptured. Still, the shrinking land budget of people in modern days has posed a threat to the ground on which these old buildings now stand. On judging this situation, it is reasonable that modern development is given the prestige over historic buildings.
It should be agreed that old buildings are meaningful to citizens in a community. Thanks to them, people can trace back to their origin and other miracles in primitive time. Following the chronological order of a city’s old buildings, a person can realize the rungs of evolution, as well as the lifestyles, thoughts and beliefs clearly shown through these artifacts. Moreover, each building has a unique architectural structure, which reminds new generations of their ancestors’ creative endeavor, therefore serves a far – fetched educational purpose.
On the other hand, there occur new problems, which did not even exist in the past. These range from overpopulation, flourished commercial activities to national security.
While the population keeps rocketing over years, especially in developing areas, old buildings seem to have little practical use. They either occupy too much land for their surroundings, or require countless money for maintenance and restoration. It is a wise idea for the authority then, to put its citizens’ rights and daily needs first.
This is also the case when old buildings become hindrances to the society’s infrastructure. Some hundreds years ago, people could hardly expect industries, among those outstood domestic and foreign trading business, to prosper at such a thrilling speed as nowadays. This naturally leads to changes of constructions in the whole society. Only when this demand is met can the economy be stabilized, and then manipulated. This, in its turn, results in a heightened living standard for almost all residents.
On balance, despite their tremendous historical value, old buildings should be preceded by modern development under certain circumstances. This is to ensure a radical improvement for the community. It is recommended, though, to group records and remnants of these obsolete constructions in museums, where they would still undertake their sacred missions with future generations.

[Vu Bao Giang]

Would you please give me some comments on this piece? Hope it's not that bad
Many thanks!