TOEFL essay: Some young adults wants independence from their parents...

[Jolly]

Hi I hope somebody assist my essay and correct it for me and gave me some tips .I will appreciate that.

Being independent is an important thing to do in the right time .Therefore ,as a young adults ,we should take our time and think carefully and take consultation from people we trust as parents/ guardian about decision we may make ,because decision we make now ,it is going to affect our life later in the future. I am going to give some examples.
A big and an important decision may the person make is in a high school when your decide whether going to post secondary education ;which school or college you going to attend .Teenagers sometimes do not realize how importance their decisions some of them just want to leave the house because they think they can be on their own,the disaster is coming when they are not ready for that decision because may be to early to be independent .another important decision in the person life when decide to choose a partner ,marriage ,and having children later on.
the key for being independent is how to use to shear some people you trust for honest opinion ,then you decide what you want and what is the right thing to do and do it ,to much hesitate is not good ,on the other hand, quick decisions is not good too.

[Jolly]

Bing independent is an important thing to do in the right time.Therefore as young adults ,we should take our time and think carefully and take consultation from people we trust,such as parents and guardians,about decisions we may make .Decisions we make now,are going to affect our life later on.I am going to give some examples.
A big and an important decision a person makes in a high school ,when you are decide whether going to post secondary education or which school or college you are going to attend .Teenagers sometimes do not realize how important their decision are .Some of them just want to leave the house ,when they think they can be on their own .They are going to be very disappointed .Another important decision in a person life is when they decided to choose a partner , marriage ,and having children later.
the key to being independent is how to use some people you trust for their honest opinion,then make up your mind,about what you you want and what is the right thing to do and do it .To hesitate is not good ,but on the other hand quick decisions are not good either.

I hope it is going to help