TOEFL® topic: do famous athletes and entertainers deserve high income?

[Lincutin]

Topic: Some athletes and entertainers earn billions of dollars every year. Do you think they deserve such a high income?
Currently, there are more and more athletes and entertainers earning billions of dollars. This has caused many arguments among society. Some people think they do not deserve such high income. Personally, I assume they should get it for certain reasons.
Firstly, famous athletes and entertainers possess truly amazing talents. Obviously, everyone has their own abilities but those inconceivable can do such things that millions of us can’t. They either make us admire about human ability or help us relax after tiring working hours. We could easily see their accomplishments though we rarely consider their endeavors. They could have some aptitude in their genius genes but no-one is born to be incredible. Conversely, they have to practice for years before getting cash from their occupations. By and large, those salaries should be understood as presents for their serious and hard training.
Secondly, that athletes should gain more money than people from other jobs, partly compensate for their sacrifice. Frankly, instead of enjoying good time with family or relaxing themselves, they have to come around to compete in tournaments or amuse others. Being a person of public also means that their privacy would be somehow influenced. Their personal lives are possibly revealed on articles for everyone to discuss
Worse, it could make them stressful and in some cases cause to their metal problems. Everything has its own price; I do think athletes and entertainers should get correspondingly what they devote.
Finally, we should consider their short-life careers when discussing their salary. Unlike other jobs could gain money until they are old. After years of hard training, athletes and entertainers can only gain money in a really short time - usually around 10 years. They possibly get billions of dollars at the peak of their careers, but it will be spent to cover for the rest of their lives. After leaving career usually at the early 30s, they have a really long way in front of. Looking the problem from this view, it is fair for them to obtain more than other occupations.
In conclusion, thanks to their truly talents in such jobs full of difficulties and pressure in short period, athletes and entertainers really deserve for their high income. Personally, I recommend everyone to consider those arguments to have a right view of those jobs before assessing their salaries.
This is my first time I have posted my essay here. Feel free to post your comments here because I know there are many mistakes in my essay: the word choice, the structures (does it fit with the Toefl tamplate?)
Thanks.

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