TOEFL® essay: Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every...

[Abhihit08]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Subjects such as art, music, and drama should be a part of every child’s basic education.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Childhood is an important learning phase of life. This learning starts with the basic education in school. However, children should also be given the scope to learn other subjects like arts, music and drama which is very much important for the complete development of a child.
Arts, music and drama are equally important in a child education sine it shows them the horizon to think beyond gives them the scope to express their creativity. If these subjects are included in the basic education, children can even enjoy studying.
A child always likes to express his/her thoughts through paintings. So if they are encouraged to get involved in this part of art, they can know the world around them by their own creation. Music is another part of art which everyone loves to listen. It relieves us from stress at work. It also has a similar effect to a child. If they are allowed to listen to music or encouraged to learn how to play musical instruments, the can enjoy to do so. Drama is another thing that can help a child in many ways. If they are encouraged to play roles in a drama in front of a large spectators they can be motivated to break all the shackles of fear and shyness. This will definitely help them to be more prompt and fearless of any kind of stage show in future.
All these would definitely make a child more mature and tough to face any challenges in future. This can also help the child to know his/her potentials and the hidden talent in him. This would also enrich the extracurricular skills in a child. Therefore, subjects like arts, music and drama must be an indispensable part of a child’s basic education.
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Can any one please review my essay and give comments on this. It can be very helpful to me....thnx