TOEFL essay: Many people visit museums when they travel to new places

[God_San]

hi ,
plz, remark on my essay and suggest me where i'm wrong and also tell me how much marks I get. my essay is

Many people visit museums when they travel to new places. Why do you think people visit museums? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

It is good idea to visit museum when we travel to new place, because museum is a place where we can see the collection of objects having scientific, historical and artistic values. It is an integral part of that place which describes its culture; it takes less time to know much about that place and its history. Depository contains antique collection which is rare to see.
First reason to visit a museum is a place where we can watch the objects that may have scientific and/or historical and/or artistic importance which helps us to learn more about their culture like their traditional dress, feast etc. For art loving person it helps to understand their art, it may be paintings, may be classical dance, may be theater performance or may be any thing else, museum is also right place for the person having inertest in scientific field or study on scientific things.
Another benefit to visit museum is that often we have less time, and because of this time constraint we miss few place to visit and may cause gap in knowledge about that place but a museum may helps us to fill that gap, of course it does not give as knowledge as you can gain after visit.
Third benefit to visit museum is, that here we can see the antique collection like metal coins, yesteryear pots, weapons etc. which is of course not possible else anywhere. In India last year I visit a museum and saw a lance and sheath of Maha Rana Partap, the lance itself was about 80 kg in weight and 12 foot long and by saw the sheath it seam that they would be of 9 foot or more, it was rare to see any other place .
The above mentioned reasons strengthen the idea to visit museum when we travel new place, as museum or depository is place where we gather up or exhibit objects having scientific, historical and artistic importance and describe their culture and take less time to know that place and its history. It also contain antique collection that is not easily possible else any where. At the end it is not hyperbole to say “museum in itself is complete visit of that place. “

Thanks for ur co-operation
my id is ::sandeep101083@gmail.com

[Obaseki]

Hi god_san,

Your composition is very ok, the only observation i have to make is this. Since you use the block format in your writing you need to space it adequately.

Best wishes,
paul

[Fireonrocks]

People often visit museums while visiting a new country.Museums are a great way to know wat a country is really made up of . Museums are mirrors of rich culuture and history reflective of the rise of a nation through time.

Treasure of art and culuture is wat we can expect while on a visit to the museums .Art lovers simply love the museums for their great collection of rare paintings and sculptors dating back several centuries.Museums are inded a treat for art connoisseurs

Another reason i think people from different countries make it a point to visit a museum is it brings them closer to the city they r visiting.Museums r an excellent way and a one stop experience for people wanting to know about countries exisitence its freedom struggle it heroes and revolutionaries and many more.This brings peopole more closer to the host city.

Furthermore,museums r filled with information .Be it science or trivia musuems rule the informative platform. People find museums easier to access and educatory at the same time while on a holiday. So they can enjoy n learn new things at the same time.

In my conclusion i would say the sole purpose of people visiting museums is it feels to be on a holiday and they get all the knowledge at the same place.