TOEFL essay: A sense of competition in children should be encouraged.

[Thanhhoang207]

This is my answer...plz help me correct it. Thanks.

Topic: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Competition and co-operate have its advantages and disadvantages. If a child taught how to compete with others will become independent and be self control then when he is educated in the co-operate environment; perhaps, he will grow up as a person who is easy to communicate with others. In my point of view, we should teach our children in both sides which we just deal with above.

In the first side, we will talk about a sense of competition in children. As we see, in the competition environment our children must assert themselves, even in their little brain only have two words “win” or “lose”. They probably imagine that they are playing the game which requires a lot of effort and skill and if they “win”, they maybe get many good things in the rest of their life. Obviously, everybody including our children does not always want to “fail” when they play their game in the real life. The game perhaps will bring to them some benefits such as independent and self-confident in their character and itself maybe become an important part in their future.

In other side, co-operate mind in our life is also very important. The inner person always remains strong points and weak points. Maybe a strong point of one person is a weak point of another. Thus, combination skills among people in particular environment is necessary for the development in the future. We will learn faster and deeper when we share what we are learning with others, it makes us turn to more perfect and useful.

In a nutshell, I strongly believe that competition and co-operation have many benefits and our children should be taught both sides in order to help them being self-confident in the future. By the way encouraging and finding the good ways for our children, family and people around them will support them to make a good start when they begin to learn about competition or co-operation.

(323 words)

[Fireonrocks]

I believe that life is a competition and encouraging children and preparing them for competition is a great step towards their success.Be it any field competition brings out the best of an individual.

One of the reasons I would like to encourage children for healthy competition is this improves their memory. It is well known that memory is increased when put to test and this is exactly wat competition does is tests your memory in the process of getting better than others.

Another reason whic affirms that chilren should be taught to compete is it builds their confidence.Many children are not able to do well in the class or sports because of lack of confidence .Competing with fellow students and friends would bring them out of their shell and improve performance.

Finally,competition is better for education and sports .The more children compete with each other in the classroom better would always comeout with their thirst for more helping each n every child in the class.Also on the sports field a race among participants for top position will push them to new limits and make the sports more popular.

In my conclusion competition are always healthy for ones growth and understanding of life in any field.So by encouraging children we instill these qualities at an early age, to cope better in the future.