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Torsten Learning Coach

Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 14503 Location: EU
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#3 (permalink) Sat Oct 18, 2008 14:26 pm Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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Hello! I got what you wanted to say,I'll post it in forum itself. |
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Shweta New Member
Joined: 15 Oct 2008 Posts: 2
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#4 (permalink) Mon Mar 08, 2010 8:40 am Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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Can you please review sop for my MA degree.
I will be very greatful!!!
Accurate knowledge of a subject is important as a basis for thorough decision-making. That is how I find one, which most suits me, which I like most and want to specialize on. Studying all subjects at the same level, knowing core ideas of all of them, allows me to compare them in the best possible way and based on thorough judgment choose the most favorable ones for me. It is an old technique following me through whole life from the very beginning of my educational way. After two years of university, I was left with superficial knowledge of subjects that I studied and few notebooks consisting of only the terms and definitions of all courses taken, except mathematics for which I am so grateful that I had a good professor for. My limited knowledge in these subjects did not satisfy me and therefore, I have bought books for a few disciplines to strengthen my knowledge. It was a late spring when my university independent-study program began and I had a long summer in front of me. One of the books was Russian edition of Economics by McConnell and Brue. I mention this book especially among the others because it had a tremendous influence on me. It opened my mind to new doors and showed me world around me in a different perspective. As a outsider looking to study economics this textbook did a superb job of introducing me to the general concepts of economics, it subfields, and gave me real food for thought. Self-studying is great but it becomes even better when you can collaborate with someone and share your knowledge and thoughts. On my third university year, I began organizing group study-style classes in economics with my classmate. We began studying chapter-by-chapter and solving exercises at the back of each chapter. I also used the text's accompanying web site with additional exercises and information as another supplement to my independent study and group-study methods. This web site served as a good assessment tools that allowed me to gauge my knowledge and understanding. After completing my degree, I already knew that I want to major in economics. Therefore, I started searching for a source of practical usage of theories known. Such a source for me became internet. Most of the news and reports I find on web sites of international organizations like WTO, IMF, OECD and few others. While reading reports or journal Economist, I understand that my knowledge, especially in a field of interest of the future profession, like macroeconomics and international trade is scarce. Therefore, my knowledge should be expanded and then used in practice. Moreover, I could have learned the same in a relatively small period if I had someone to consult me and people whom I could cooperate with. In conclusion, I find MA degree the way of filling the breaches in my BA and important step towards being more competitive and equipped for my career development.
Thanks in advance. |
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Hawk054 I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 29 Jul 2009 Posts: 11 Location: Georgia
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#5 (permalink) Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:20 pm Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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Accurate knowledge of a subject is important as a basis for thorough decision-making. That is how I AM ABLE TO find one which most suits me AND which I like most and want to specialize IN. Studying all subjects at the same level, AND knowing THE core ideas of all of them, allows me to compare them in the best possible way, and based on thorough judgEment HELPS ME TO choose the most favorable ones for MYSELF. It is an old technique WHICH I HAVE ADOPTED THROUGH MY whole life, from the very beginning of my education. After two years AT university, I was left with ONLY A VERY superficial knowledge of THE subjects that I HAD studied and A few notebooks consisting of only the terms and definitions of all THE courses I HAD taken, except mathematics for which I am so grateful that I had a good professor. My limited knowledge in these subjects did not satisfy me and therefore, I bought books IN a few OF THESE disciplines to FURTHER strengthen my knowledge.
It was a late spring when my university independent-study program began, and I had a long summer AHEAD of me. One of the books was A Russian edition of Economics by McConnell and Brue. I mention this book especially among the others because it had a tremendous influence on me. It opened my mind to new doors and showed me THE world around me FROM a different perspective. As aN outsider looking to study economics, this textbook did a superb job of introducing me to the general concepts of economics, its sub-fields, and gave me real food for thought. Self-studying is great, but it becomes even better when you can collaborate with someone and share your knowledge and thoughts.
On my third university year, I began organizing group study-style classes in economics with my classmate/S. We began studying chapter-by-chapter and solving exercises at the back of each chapter. I also used the text's accompanying web-site, IN TANDEM with additional exercises and information as YET another supplement to my independent studIES and group-study methods. This web-site served as a good assessment tool that allowed me to gauge my knowledge and understanding. After completing my degree, I already knew that I wantED to major in economics. Therefore, I started searching for a source of practical usage of KNOWN THEORIES. Such a source for me became THE Internet. Most of the news and reports THAT I FOUND on web-sites of international organizations like WTO, IMF, OECD and few others, PROVED TO BE INVALUABLE TO ME. While reading reports or THE Economist journal, I CAME TO REALISE that my knowledge, especially in THE field of interest of MY CHOSEN future profession, like macroeconomics and international trade is scarce. Therefore, my knowledge should be expanded and then used in practice. Moreover, I could have learned the same in a relatively small period if I had HAD someone to consult WITH, and people WITH whom I could HAVE cooperateD. In conclusion, I find MY PURSUING A MA degree the way of filling the breaches in my BA, and AN important step towards MY being more competitive and BETTER equipped for my career development.
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Kitos _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#6 (permalink) Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:53 pm Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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Thanks a lot for yr proofread. I was thinking my first paragraph is little confusing and full of big words and i thought to make it more simple maybe like this
My acquaintance with economics began on my first year of university. I took courses in basic economic theory and later in international and maritime economics. In spite of this my real view of economics developed far later.
Or maybe old one is better????
Or maybe it's better just to add it at the begining of second paragraph???
With many thanks!!! |
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Hawk054 I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 29 Jul 2009 Posts: 11 Location: Georgia
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#7 (permalink) Mon Mar 08, 2010 13:00 pm Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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You are welcome Hawk. Whichever you chose I'm sure it will be well received.
Good luck in your chosen career.
Kitos. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#8 (permalink) Mon Mar 08, 2010 13:03 pm Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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| Thanks a lot sir. It's just for the first time i'm writing my sop in english... |
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Hawk054 I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 29 Jul 2009 Posts: 11 Location: Georgia
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#9 (permalink) Sun Mar 14, 2010 12:08 pm Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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I'm posting my sop ones again since i have reworded some things. Also i have changed some tenses and want to know if they are chosen right. I don't want to bother anyone, because I'm posting it again but if someone proofread it again i will really appreciate that.
I just don't feel confident for asking for help again :(( But for me it is very very important
Thanks in advance for everyone
---------------------------------------- Accurate knowledge of a subject is important as a basis for thorough decision-making. I know this from my whole life educational experience. While studying at school, I was trying to get to the core ideas of all the subjects I was studying. This technique was allowing me, to compare them in the best possible way and based on thorough judgment, choose a few ones I was devoting more of my time and attention. Even at university, it helped me to find my real area of interest. After two university years, I was left with superficial knowledge of the subjects that I had studied and a few notebooks consisting of only the terms and definitions of all the courses I had taken, except mathematics for which I am so grateful that I had a good professor for. My limited knowledge in these subjects did not satisfy me and therefore, I have bought books for a few of these disciplines to strengthen my knowledge. It was a late spring when my university independent-study program began and I had a long summer ahead of me. One of the books was Russian edition of Economics by McConnell and Brue. I mention this book especially among the others because it had a big and critical influence on me. Even though, I had already taken courses in basic and international economics, this very book developed my real view of economics. It opened my mind to new doors and showed me world around me from a different perspective. This textbook did a superb job of introducing me to the general concepts of economics, it subfields, and gave me real food for thought. Self-studying is great but it becomes even better when you can enrich it with collaboration with someone and share your knowledge and thoughts. On my third university year, I began organizing group study-style classes in economics with my classmate. We began studying chapter-by-chapter and solving exercises at the back of each chapter. I also used the text's English accompanying web site with additional exercises and information as another supplement to my independent study and group-study methods. This web site served as a good assessment tools that allowed me to gauge my knowledge and understanding. After completing my degree, I already knew that I wanted to major in economics. Plenty of factors influenced my decision. What I have found about economics is that its concept’s are at work everywhere, in almost all aspects of every-day life. In my opinion, basic knowledge of economics is important for everyone. It allows at least be an educated citizen, know what is happening in a world around us. Knowledge of it is important in choice and decision-making. The way of thinking which economics taught me, was one of the crucial factors of choosing economics as my major subject. I started searching for a source of practical usage of known theories, concerning my interest. Such a source for me became the internet. Most of the news and reports I find on web sites of international organizations like WTO, IMF, OECD and few others, proved to be invaluable to me. While reading reports or the Economist journal, I came to realize that my knowledge, especially in the field of interest of my chosen future profession, like macroeconomics and international trade is scarce. Therefore, my knowledge should be expanded and then used in practice. Moreover, I could have learned the same in a relatively small period if I had someone to consult me and people whom I could cooperate with. In conclusion, I find pursuing a Master’s degree the way of filling the breaches in my Bachelor’s and important step towards being more competitive and equipped for my career development.
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Hawk054 I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 29 Jul 2009 Posts: 11 Location: Georgia
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#10 (permalink) Sun Mar 14, 2010 13:09 pm Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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Accurate knowledge of a subject is important as a basis for thorough decision-making. I know this from my whole life educational experience. WhilST studying at school, I was trying to get to the core ideas of all the subjects I was studying. This technique was allowing me to compare them in the best possible way, and based on thorough judgEment, choose a few ones I was devoting more of my time and attention TO. Even at university, it helped me to find my real area of interest. After two years AT university I left with ONLY A superficial knowledge of the subjects that I had studied, and a few notebooks consisting of only the terms and definitions of all the courses I had taken, except mathematics, for which I am so grateful that I had a good professor. My limited knowledge in these subjects did not satisfy me; and therefore I have bought books for a few of these disciplines to strengthen my knowledge. It was a late spring when my university independent-study program began, and I had a long summer ahead of me. One of the books was the Russian edition of Economics by McConnell and Brue. I mention this book especially among the others because it had a big and critical influence on me. Even though I had already taken courses in basic and international economics, this very book developed my real view of economics. It opened my mind to new concepts and showed me the world around me from a different perspective. This text-book did a superb job of introducing me to the general concepts of economics, it sub-fields, and gave me real food for thought. Self-studying is great, but it becomes even better when you can enrich it IN collaboration with someone and share your knowledge and thoughts. On my third university year, I began organizing group study-style classes in economics with my classmate. We began studying chapter-by-chapter and solving exercises at the back of each chapter. I also used the text's English accompanying web site, with additional exercises and information as another supplement to my independent study and group-study methods. This web site served as a good assessment tools that allowed me to gauge my knowledge and understanding. After completing my degree, I already knew that I wanted to major in economics. Plenty of factors influenced my decision. What I have found about economics is that its concepts are at work everywhere, in almost all aspects of every-day life. In my opinion, basic knowledge of economics is important for everyone. It allows ONE at least TO beCOME an educated citizen BY UNDERSTANDING AND ACKNOWLEDGING what is happening in THE world around us. Knowledge of THIS is important in choice and decision-making. The way of thinking which economics taught me, was one of the crucial factors of choosing economics as my major subject. I started searching for a source of practical usage of known theories concerning my interest. Such a source for me became the Internet. Most of the news and reports I find on web sites of international organizations like WTO, IMF, OECD and few others, proved to be invaluable to me. While reading reports or the "Economist journal", I came to realize that my knowledge, especially in the field of interest of my chosen future profession, like macroeconomics and international trade is SCANT. Therefore, my knowledge should be expanded and then used in practice. Moreover, I could have learned the same in a relatively small period OF TIME had I HAD someone to GUIDE me and people WITH whom I could HAVE COOPERATED. In conclusion, I find pursuing a Master’s degree the IDEAL way of filling the breaches in my Bachelor’s and AN important step towards being more competitive and equipped for my career development.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I've done my best to improve it Hawk. You will need to read it carefully because I have removed and added wherever I thought helpful.
Good luck. Kitos. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#11 (permalink) Sun Mar 14, 2010 14:01 pm Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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Thank you sir very much!!!!
I really appreciate yr help and time you are waisting on my essay.
Thanks a lot! |
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Hawk054 I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 29 Jul 2009 Posts: 11 Location: Georgia
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#12 (permalink) Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:13 am Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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I want to add this sentence at the beginning of one paragraph.
My interest in macroeconomic policy making, theories of economic growth and international trade shaped my decision of looking forward to a job in a governmental sector.
How accurate this sentense is??? |
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Hawk054 I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 29 Jul 2009 Posts: 11 Location: Georgia
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#13 (permalink) Fri Mar 19, 2010 9:56 am Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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I want to add this sentence at the beginning of one paragraph.
My interest in macroeconomic policy-making, theories ON economic growth and international trade, HAVE ALL shaped my decision IN looking forward to a job in a governmental sector. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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#14 (permalink) Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:02 am Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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Thanks Mr Kitosdad!!!
You are my rescuer!!!
I don't know how to thanks you!!!
Today I'm already sending my sop and will rest after months of rushes and thinking!!!
I really appreciate yr great help!!!
I was not really expecting that someone will help me so much!!
Big thanks to this forum that it exists!!!
:* :* :* |
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Hawk054 I'm new here and I like it ;-)
Joined: 29 Jul 2009 Posts: 11 Location: Georgia
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#15 (permalink) Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:21 am Could someone review my statement of purpose? |
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I only do the best I can Hawk. All of our members deserve no less. Good luck!
Kitos. _________________ Keep it simple ... Keep it interesting. |
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Kitosdad Language Coach

Joined: 04 Mar 2009 Posts: 13417 Location: ESSEN, Germany, (but English.)
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