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TOEFL® essay: Popular events like the football World Cup and other international



 
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TOEFL essay: Popular events like the football World Cup and other international #1 (permalink) Mon Nov 24, 2008 16:07 pm   TOEFL essay: Popular events like the football World Cup and other international
 

Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

The underlying cause of the conflict among countries determines whether it could be reduced by some widely popularized activities like the football World Cup. Generally many kinds of events could let the international tensions happened, of which the most common is economy. Every country struggles for increasing GDP in order to be a more competitive position throughout the world. If not, it is not capable to preserve its dominion and interests against foreign power. Besides, the cultural diversity would, at a certain degree, trigger inconsistence. The Iraq and America, for instance, hold completely different views toward rebuilding Iraq, especially with regard to what is the best form of regime for Iraq. Consequently, many bloody conflicts have occurred during the past years, BBC or CNN etc well-known media reported many times yet. In the above or the other cases, widely-joined activities could temporarily transfer people’s attentions off conflicts though, they could hardly or, precisely speaking, impossibly perform an ‘essential’ role in tackling these contradictions.
Among various methods to release patriotism, some widely-accepted events are not ‘essential’. Like any kid loving his or her parents without doubt, all citizens would never let any individual or organization assort their country, and they would like to try their utmost to realize its stability and prosperity, particularly when their motherland encounters natural disasters (such as earthquake, flood and hurricane) or foreign aggression. The most common ways expressing their emotions would be to communicate with the mass through a public platform, such like chatting on internet or seeing some international competitions like the football World Cup on TV. However the more rationally, in my opinion, is through either finding out potential solution methods or directly making financial or technical supports via hardly working to deal with the confronting crisis. In comparison with practical actions which should be counted ‘essential’ in releasing mass’s love for their country, the spiritual support including not limited to paying much attention to international sporting events is definitely less effective.
To sum up, popular events are dispensable in reducing conflicts between countries, as the only effect they could make is letting people not pay much attention on conflicts for a little while not for ever; to impress their love on their motherland, what the citizens should do is to make practical distributions for nation’s stable and prosperous development, rather than spend many hours watching the football World Cup at home.

If u can, please send the revision to my email-box guanhuicheng@hotmail.com. I very appreciate your help!!! Have a nice day!!

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Dean Cheng
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Joined: 24 Nov 2008
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My essay. Plz gimme a serious review! Thank you. #2 (permalink) Sat Nov 29, 2008 21:45 pm   My essay. please gimme a serious review! Thank you.
 

In the body of your essay, you need more details such as how a soccer game between Great Britain and Turkey could help both countries in reducing any existing tensions. By providing more examples, you would present a more believeable argument.
Michael Buckhoff
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Joined: 29 Nov 2008
Posts: 1

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TOEFL essay: Popular events like the football World Cup and other international #3 (permalink) Sun Nov 30, 2008 0:23 am   TOEFL essay: Popular events like the football World Cup and other international
 

Hello,

You used very long sentences. You'd better shorten them up.
Happytofita
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