TOEFL® essay: People attend college or university for many different reasons

[Jsrijkc]

Can any one help me evaluating this essay. I have just started practicing the essays for my TOEFL and unable to recognize where i have to concentrate.

The topic is :

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increasing knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

My response:

People may attend universities based on their situation and requirements. There may any number of reasons which vary from person to person. One cannot just say that this might be the perfect reason why every person is going to college. This can be explained by taking few examples.
First, if a student from a high school is joining an under graduate school, then I believe that he/she is more oriented towards gaining knowledge. He can select any particular field of interest and expand his horizons in that particular field. Along with the knowledge, they will also gain new experiences which are very much different from high school environment.
Second, when a student is joining a graduate school after his/her undergraduate program, then in my view he/she might be doing this for increasing knowledge as well as increasing their career opportunities. During the period of his/her graduate studies he/she will also increase skills. This would help them in getting better opportunities in their career.
Finally, I think people would attend college to expand their knowledge and increase their career opportunities but not alone for new experiences. They would automatically gain new experiences during their programs.

[Novito]

Hi,

I've done the same essay and I would like you guys to do recommendations about it.

The topic is: People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increasing knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In our life nowadays, people are educated to become a usefull man or woman. In order to satisfy that purpose, we are supposed to study at school first and later on attend university. Study in a college or university doesn't only give to people new knowledge, but also skills which will be usefull in their future job. As a result, many people want to attend university and this essay will try to answer why.

First, there is that kind of people who attend university because they want to achieve great success in life. They think that attending university will help them to have an easier life and they will be able to get a better job than an other person who has not studied.
So as to, going to university is an inversion because when their degree is finished they can prove that they have studied and consequently they are able to perform a specific job. In my opinion, this kind of people attend university influented by an auto obligation which forces them to be the best. For example, I have a friend who is studying computer science because he thinks that in a few years when he will have finished his degree, he will get a good salary without working too much, just because he has studied a degree in computer science.

In contrast to that kind of people who go to university because of the future plans, there is an other type more realistic about why university was created for. They have academic intentions, seeing university as a school of knowledge and not as a factory of sucessfull people. Thus, attending college is a tool to grow their wisdom in a specific field. They consider attending university an important chance to learn from teachers who are experts in very different subjects. I believe that this kind usually get better marks than the other kind because they do not feel the same presure about the future.

It seems to me that both kind feel that going to university is a new and exciting experience they can not waste. Their motivations as I have explained above are extremly different but that does not mean they will not work hard to get a place in their favorite school. In conclusion and in my humble point of view I would say that despite of the fact that there are many different reasons, attending university is one of the best decisions a person can do.

[Camellia2008]

I've done the same one.

Topic:People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, it is widely thought that students should attend a college or university after graduating high school. There are many different reasons which lead them to apply to a college or university, such as for new experiences, career preparation, and increasing knowledge. In my point of view, people attend college not only to prepare for future jobs but also to get new experiences in the life. My reasons include the following:

In the first place, some people go to university in order to obtain new experiences and enhance knowledge. In college or university, students may come from different places with diverse cultures or life experiences so that it is more likely to have a chance to learn about other customs and cultures from their classmates. In addition, it is good ways for them to gain more experiences from participating in school activities or joining organizations. As a result, college seems be a perfect place in the hope of getting new experiences.

Secondly, going to college or university may be a good way to obtain a good job. The reason why people attend to a college or university is to prepare for their future job. In order to get a better job, the level of education is essential for people who are looking for job vacancies. Most students in colleges or universities not only learn from theory but also from practical training. Accordingly, a great number of people go to college or university because of career preparation.

In sum, there are various reasons for people to go to college or university, but the main purposes are to prepare for future job and gain new experiences for their life. For the above reasons, going to a college or university is the suitable place in the hope of improving themselves or achieving their goals.