Article: Transition from Childhood to Adulthood

[Amit1975]

I am new to this forum. I have joined this forum to improve my English. I have written one small article called "Transition from Childhood to Adulthood". Would you please read and correct me on what is wrong in it? I would greatly appreciate your help. Below is my article:

Transition from Childhood to Adulthood

I think that the teenagers transform from childhood to adulthood, when they feel that they can judge and take care of themselves freely. It is the time when they psychologically and physically grow up. It is the time when they become aware of their surroundings. They understand their world and environment well; their attitude and behavior changes a lot. They become more stylish and fashionable. They take pride in their showoff. They form their own peer group. They feel that they are fully grown up to make their own decisions. They want to enjoy this type of life to the fullest. They want to rule the world in their own way.

This is the way a child or teenager transform from childhood to adulthood.

Thank you.
Amit.

[Jimb0678]

Let's start with this sentence: "I think that the teenagers transform from childhood to adulthood, when they feel that they can judge and take care of themselves freely."

"The teenagers" doesn't flow very well. Instead, you should say: "Teenagers" without the "The". I would also say that there is no need for a comma after "adulthood"

"I think that teenagers transform from childhood to adulthood when they feel that they can judge and take care of themselves independently." I have changed "freely" to "independently" as it fits better with the tone of the article.

"It is the time when they psychologically and physically grow up" Could be written: "It is the time when they grow up, both psychologically and physically." to improve the fluidity of the article, although it wasn't 'incorrect' in the first place.

"Their attitude and behavior change a lot" - Attitude and Behaviour are two things, therefore "change" should be used in place of "changes".

"They take pride in their appearance, and form their own cliques" - showoff isn't really a noun, the sentence that follows can be combined with the initial one, and "cliques" flows better than "peer groups".

"This is the way a child or teenager transforms from childhood to adulthood." - As "or" is used, only one of the nouns is mentioned at any one time, therefore the singular verb is used.

I hope this helps, Amit.

[Amit1975]

Thanks Jim for correcting my mistakes. It is nice to have someone corrected my mistakes. I appreciate your help very much.

Amit.