TOEFL® essay: Being happy with a job is more important than having a high...

[Thdud]

subject: being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary.

If it is ok... Torsten, can you please give some advice about my essay?
(still I will appreciate for anybody correcting my essay

Many people face dilemma when they choose their jobs: what they really want or high salary. If one chooses what one really wants, one can be happy with a job but how much one earns from a job can not be ignored either. However, given choice between those two, I would definitely weigh more on whether I am happy with my job than having a high salary since happiness can not be gained by money and satisfaction with a job brings even more success.

First of all, being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary because money can not buy happiness. If we can not enjoy working and indulge in what we do, it means we gain nothing even though we are earning a high salary. Most people spend about or more than half of a day at working place. It will be like a torture to stuck in a load of works which we never enjoy. On the other hand, one can gain self satisfaction if one is doing what one really wants even if one does not make a lot of money. For example, Mother Teresa chose a life of service for others. What she chose did not bring her money but sacrifice. However, she was happy for the whole life and was highly respected by people regardless of nationalities.

Secondly, being happy with a job can bring even more success. If one works for one’s goal or dream, not for money, one would put a lot of effort in one’s work. Then, there is not doubt that outcomes or results coming from one’s work will be more successful. For example, the famous Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, forsook his safe way of getting a stable job when he decided to quit Harvard because he knew he was happy with life in the university. So, he chose a difficult way only for pursuing what he really wanted and the belief that he will change the world. Without his brave decision, Microsoft would not be born.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary since money can not buy happiness and sometimes people can be more successful when they are happy with their jobs. Nowadays, more and more people are too much considering money as the most important factor when they choose something. However, I believe people should listen to what they really eager from their hearts, especially when they make important decisions like choosing their jobs which might influence their entire lives.

[Alan]

Hi,

I have made some changes in capital letters
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subject: being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary.

If it is ok... Torsten, can you please give some advice about my essay?
(still I will appreciate for anybody correcting my essay

Many people face dilemma when they choose their jobs: what they really want ARE high SALARIES. If one chooses what one really wants, one can be happy with a job but how much one earns from a job cannot be ignored either. However, given A choice between those two, I would definitely LEAN more TOWARDS whether I am happy with my job than having a high salary since happiness cannot be gained by money and satisfaction with a job THAT brings even more success.

First of all, being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary because money cannot buy happiness. If we cannot enjoy working and indulgING in what we do, it means we gain nothing even though we are earning a high salary. Most people spend about or more than half of a day at WORK. It WOULD be a torture to BE stuck in a load of JOBS which we never enjoy. On the other hand, one can gain self satisfaction if one is doing what one really wants even if one does not make a lot of money. For example, Mother Teresa chose a life of service for others. What she chose did not bring her money but sacrifice. However, she was happy for HER whole life and was highly respected by people regardless of nationalities.

Secondly, being happy with a job can bring even more success. If one works for one’s goal or dream, not for money, one would put a lot of effort inTO one’s work. Then, there is not doubt that outcomes or results coming from one’s work will be more successful. For example, the famous Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, forsook his safe way of getting a stable job when he decided to quit Harvard because he knew he was happy with life in the university. So, he chose a difficult way only TO PURSUE what he really wanted and the belief that he WOULD change the world. Without his brave decision, Microsoft would not HAVE BEEN born.

In conclusion, I strongly agree that being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary since money cannot buy happiness and sometimes people can be more successful when they are happy with their jobs. Nowadays, more and more people TOO OFTEN CONSIDER money as the most important factor when they choose something. However, I believe people should listen to what they ARE really KEEN ABOUT IN their hearts, especially when they make important decisions like choosing their jobs which might influence their entire lives.

Remember that 'cannot' is written as one word.

Alan
_________________
English as a Second Language
You can read my ESL story Head expressions for you

[Thdud]

I sent you private message but I don't think you get it yet ^^;;
well... I wrote another essay, and can you read this and evaluate please??

Subject: people are never satisfied with what they have; they always want what they do not have.

We often hear a bunch of stories of people being caught from the police by trying to gain something which they want but is not justified to be earned. Actually, these stories are what happen everywhere around us. Therefore, I strongly agree that people are incapable of being satisfied with what they have; they always want what they do not have since it is a natural characteristic of human-beings that they are never satisfied with the status-quo and they often ignore the real value of what they already have.

First of all, it is a natural characteristic of all human-beings that they are never satisfied with the present. This characteristic also results in the great development of science and technology that we are enjoying now. Our society just never stops developing; whenever, people achieve something new, they are never satisfied with that but keep challenging for further advance. While this natural has some positive effect on society, this sometimes brings many negative results to society at the same time. For example, we hear a lot of news and stories regarding to CEOs of large enterprises, trying to earn great benefits even through illegal activities. Although they already gain a great amount of wealth, they are never satisfied with it and keep trying to gain more and more.

Secondly, people often ignore the value of what they already have. When we have something, we never realize how it is helpful and necessary for us. However, once we loose it, we become aware of its importance and start regretting. This applies to most people since it is hard for them to be aware of the importance of something when it exists right next to us. For example, we do not perceive the importance of light from every day life. However, once light goes out due to systemic problems, we become to realize how helpful and useful light is. It is impossible to watch TV, read book in the night, and use computer without light. In this sense, people generally do not feel the importance of what they have before they loose it.

In conclusion, it is true that people are incapable of being satisfied with what they have because it is a kind of natural trait of human-beings and people often ignore the value of what they have. Before trying to gain something new with a great amount of effort, it would be wiser for people to try to keep what they already have since it would be as important as what they want to have.