TOEFL® essay: Some people prefer to cook at home. Other people prefer to eat out.

[Vesna Vracar]

Hello everybody,

My name is Vesna Vrahar and I am from Belgrade,Serbia. I am kindly asking anyone who is english native speaker to check my essay which reads as follows:

Some people prefer to cook at home. Other people prefer to eat out. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, when the pace of life is all quick and fast and everybody follow the maxim "Time is money", it seems that having a ration at home is the great privilege of the minority. People work hard in order to earn enough money to live on and therefore they consider having a meal at home as a losing the time. That`s why they prefer eating fast food or eat at food stands and restaurants rather than prepare it at home. But, from my point of view, I prefer preparing the meal and eating at home.

Namely, when I was younger I took the necessity for eating as a "necessary evil". I didn`t enjoyed in food, often missed the rations and ate only when I was very hungry. I considered food just as a fuel for living. But, as the time goes passing by I noticed that my attitude toward food is being changed. Slowly, I start enjoying in each morsel, what is more, in each step of dish preparing. Actually, I realized that meal preparation is the some kind of art.

Likewise, as far as I’m concerned, food prepared in fast food restaurants or food stands has not the same quality as the home prepared one. Namely, fast food is not so healthy, because it is generally reached in ointment, specially in cholesterol, and is treated as the high energy food. On the other hand, when we cook at home, we pay great attention to the quality of constituents intended to be used in the meal preparing. For this purpose, the quality of meal means that it should have a high nutritive value, i.e. to be reached in vitamins, minerals, proteins, carbohydrates and valuable fats. Cooking such a dish is only possible at home or in exclusive restaurants.

In my opinion, having the quality rations couldn`t be losing the time. For me, it is priority and shouldn`t be suppressed by running for money. On the other side, eating healthy food is more expensive whether or not it prepared at home. Because the constituents of such food cost more than those needed for fast food preparation. That`s why, many people cannot afford this kind of nutrition so they are oriented to the fast food.

Having said all the above, I think that people should take more attention to their health than to their work. Because, only when we are healthy we can fulfill our working tasks. Nothing is worth more than our healthness. Also, the old proverb says that health at mouth enters (Says is not without reasons that health at the mouth enters). Therefore, we should try to use a part of our working hours for a quiet and high-quality meal at home or at a good restaurant.

TOEFL listening lectures: When was Angkor Wat constructed?

[Gray]

Hello Vesna, though I am not a native English speaker, would you mind me pointing the errors? I hope you don't.

I would not comment or even figure out the obvious errors, but what I can see are really severe mistakes:

1) ... *Namely*, fast food is not so healthy, ...

The use of 'Namely' is improper here. 'Namely' does mean 'that is to say', used
generally to explain the previous statement by giving examples.

Example sentence: "There are two ways I can improve my English skills, namely,
to learn from my own mistakes and to learn from others' mistakes."

2) ... because it is *generally reached in ointment* ...

'Reach' is a verb meaning 'to reach a destination'. And 'ointment' means 'balm' or
'cream'. You should use "rich in oil" instead of "reached in ointment".
'Rich' is an adjective meaning 'containing plenty of something'. So "rich in oil"
means containing plenty of oil.

There are many other errors, which I think will require a lot of attention from you. If you find it convenient, please feel to voice me at my skype id gray10i. And yes, do let me know if you find an error in this text.

We are here to teach and learn :)
~Gray.
_________________
First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Vesna Vracar]

Dear Gray,

Thank you very much for checking my essay. It is very usefull for me. I would be very grateful if you could point out another mistakes.

Thanks again,

Vesna

[Gray]

Hey Vesna, it would take a long to correct everything in the essay. But, I would certainly go through the essay and will try to reply you soon.
Meanwhile, I have a very good suggestion for you, it worked for me while learning:

1) think about the sentence you are going to write
2) search the part of the sentence on google
3) see, how people have used it in their writing
4) modify the sentence if needed

~Gray.
_________________
First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Gray]