TOEFL® essay: Why do people attend to college or university?

[Darkangel12891]

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.^^

Nowadays, people, in somehow, tend to attend college or university for continuing their study career that thanks to many reasons. However, in my opinion, I convincingly think that causes attracting people to attend college or university are new experiences and knowledge.

Firstly, people attend to college or university for new experience. Within learning at university, people can learn effectively how to deal with other students when living or studying in dormitory or school either that will help them so much in their career, which is much of cheats and false things. For instance, when a student forgets putting his/her pen in the bag, in facts, they will lose it. This, however, will teach them more careful in future because if it is not the pen lost but a big amount of money when employing for his/her company, the affect would be serious as they could be imprisoned. Besides, in university, it’s not the teacher’s obligation to answer every student question. They themselves must do it that will help them acquired with professional environment.

Secondly, increased knowledge is also an alternative reason attracting people to enter university and college. Knowledge itself is becoming the key for every one who wills their promotion rapidly in their company. Thus, director is different from employees for their better education and their skills in solving problems, which are resulted in long process of studying. Besides, our global is naturally diversified relating for many mysterious things that people are in need to discover. Knowledge basically is the fundament of discovery and creative leading to a bright future of human.

In conclusion, in many countries especially viet nam , university diploma is now something normal when applying to several jobs but master degree and other valuable grades are what help you effectively to take the high position. Therefore, university is the initial step of you successful future. Once again, I strongly believe that university is the place that not only provides students things needed but also guarantees for student future career.

TOEFL listening lectures: An organism that generates internal heat is called what?

[Gray]

Hey Angel, these are few of the observations:

1) Nowadays, people, in somehow, tend to attend college or university for continuing their study career that thanks to many reasons.
<rectified> Nowadays, people tend to attend college or university for continuing their studies.
- 'study career' is somewhat confusing as it means career in study, and the topic demands the use of 'studies'
- 'thanks to many reasons' is generally followed by the reasons. As you are not elaborating on reasons,
there is no need to keep it.

2) However, in my opinion, I convincingly think that causes attracting people to attend college or university are new experiences and knowledge.
<rectified> However, in my opinion, what attract people towards college or university are new experiences and knowledge.
- 'in my opinion, I convincingly think'
-- one of them is redundant -- in my opinion is good option in this case

- 'causes attracting people to attend college or university'
--grammatically incorrect as 'causes' is used in combination with 'effects', it should not be used with 'attracts'

For today, it is enough I guess. I would be revisiting this again. Essay demands a lot :)

~Gray.
_________________
First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English

[Gray]

Angel,

If you have difficulties reaching me at skype, please let me know your skype id.

My skype id is gray10i if you have missed something in it.

~Gray.
_________________
First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English