Sentence: I am a part-time call-center operator at your company, have been...

[Mirsepasi]

I am a part-time call-center operator at your company, have been starting work here for the past two weeks.

[Mister Micawber]

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I am a part-time call-center operator at your company, and I have been working here for the past two weeks.
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_________________
Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Mirsepasi]

hi Mister Micawbers
Thanks ever so much for your help, I really appreciate it.I am so happy that I can promote my english ability with your encouragement.

Best wishes,
Mirsepasi

[Mirsepasi]

this is a letter that I wrote,if you have time please correct it ,
Dear Mr. Jones,

I am a part-time call-center operator at your company, and I have working here for the past two weeks. I am writing to draw your attention to a problem I encountered during my work.

Actually, I decided to take the position of an operator at a call-center because I consider myself able to pursue career in this field. However, I found that there are some obstacles on a way to success.

The problem started four days ago then the system administrator change all software to new version. After that, all files on my computer were deleted. I was shocked not to find any files on my computer, I started to copy them from mother computer but they were deleted again. All these are resulted from new software.
I explained above mention to the system administrator, though he has not pay any attention to the problem.

I strongly believe that the complete situation makes company profit lower. As far as I am concerned, you should consult with a software managing specialist.

Sincerely yours,
Alireza Mirsepasi

[Cisco795]

[Mister Micawber]

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Dear Mr. Jones,

I am a part-time call-center operator at your company, and I have been working here for the past two weeks. I am writing to draw your attention to a problem I encountered during my work.

I decided to take the position because I consider myself able to pursue a career in this field. However, I find there are some obstacles on the way to success.

The problem started four days ago when the system administrator changed all the software to a new version, which deleted all the files on my computer. I was shocked not to find any files, and I started to copy them from the mother computer, but they were deleted again. All this resulted from the installation of the new software. I explained this to the system administrator, but he has not paid any attention to the problem.

I believe that this situation strongly affects company operations and profits and that you should consult with a software managing specialist.

Sincerely yours,
Alireza Mirsepasi
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_________________
Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Mirsepasi]

thanks so much Mister Micawbers, I am happy that i found a kind english teacher, I am trying to learn writing letter by myself, if you correct this letter too I apreciate too.

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am one of your customers who travelled with your bus form London to Brighton on September 15th 2008 and I am writing this letter to complain in the strongest terms about poor service that I have received from your company.
Actually, after one hard working year, I decided to go on holiday in brighton and I found your bus company in a newspaper advertisement, I booked the ticket one week before travelling time and arrived at the station as a first passenger. The driver took my suitcase and placed it.
However, I was very shocked to see my suitcase, because it was delivered to me totally damaged. A new and brand-name suitcase was changed to a damaged one without any handle. My beautiful suitcase was silver in colour and modern design. I asked him what was happened to it but he did not any answer to me and only said ,”if you have a complaint, you should write to the manager.”
Since the damage was caused by careless action of your employee, I am writing to require a compensation of $150 .I look forward to hearing from you for not giving this problem a legal action.

Faithfully yours,
Alireza Mirsepasi

[Mirsepasi]

Dear cisco,
Thanks alot, I think i can improve my writing with your consultant,
with best wishes,
Mirsepasi

[Mister Micawber]

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I have removed many words that are unnecessary. In addition to learning the grammar and structure of the language, Mirsepasi, you must also learn the customs: DO NOT threaten legal action until there have been several exchanges of communications. You should also expect to eventually have to produce a photo or other evidence of the damaged suitcase, a receipt for your bus trip, etc.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I travelled on one of your buses from London to Brighton on September 15th, 2008 and I am writing to complain in the strongest terms about the poor service I received.

I booked the ticket one week before and arrived at the station as the first passenger. The driver took my suitcase and stowed it.
Later, I was very shocked to see my suitcase, because it was delivered back to me totally damaged. A new brand-name suitcase was changed to a damaged one without any handle. I asked the driver what had happened to it, but he only said, "if you have a complaint, you should write to the manager."

Since the damage was caused by the careless action of your employee, I am writing to ask compensation of $150 to replace my suitcase.

I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

Faithfully yours,
Alireza Mirsepasi
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_________________
Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Mirsepasi]

many thanks for quick reply.

[Mirsepasi]

my dear coach please correct this letter.
Dear sir or Madam,
I am one of your customers writing to complain about the service I received. Yesterday I brought my computer in your establishment to fix some new program on it, when I explained about my order to your clerk , she didn’t listen carefully and started to fix on my computer.

Actually, when I came back home and want to use on my computer, I found that none of the new program had arisen and all the information was stored on it was deleted. I took it to your store again the same day and explained about the problem to the clerk, but she has not paid any attention to my trouble. When I asked her to check my computer again she didn’t speak gently with me and I left the shop.

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your clerk attitude and customer service. I suppose your employee is not suitable for her position. I suggested you to employ someone more skilled and with better personality in order not to cause your customers to loose their time.

Faithfully yours,
Alireza Mirsepasi

[Mister Micawber]

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I have underlined some problem areas, Mirsepasi-- see if you can discover the problem Some are the same mistakes you made in your previous letter (I cautioned you about using unnecessary words and being aggressive in early communications):


Dear sir or Madam,
I am one of your customers writing to complain about the service I received. Yesterday I brought my computer in your establishment to fix some new program on it, when I explained about my order to your clerk , she didn’t listen carefully and started to fix on my computer.

Actually, when I came back home and want to use on my computer, I found that none of the new program had arisen and all the information was stored on it was deleted. I took it to your store again the same day and explained about the problem to the clerk, but she has not paid any attention to my trouble. When I asked her to check my computer again she didn’t speak gently with me and I left the shop.

I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your clerk attitude and customer service. I suppose your employee is not suitable for her position. I suggested you to employ someone more skilled and with better personality in order not to cause your customers to loose their time.

Faithfully yours,
Alireza Mirsepasi
.
_________________
Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Mirsepasi]

Dear Mister Micawbers,
I am so glad that you reply me guickly, Mister Micawbers I got your notes about my mistakes to writing letter, but I am learning to Ielts exam and you know that for task 1 of general traing of Ielts exam, we should write a letter with atleast 150 words, for example the subject of the last letter that i sent you is as follows:
You recently had your computer fixed at the local computer store however you are not pleased with the service you received. Write a letter to store manager. In the letter
-describe the situation
-explain why you are dissatified
-say what you want the manager to do
write atleast 150 words

[Mister Micawber]

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I understand. Please try to correct the parts I have indicated and re-post.
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_________________
Native English teacher at Mister Micawber's

[Mirsepasi]

Dear mister Micawber, i tried to correct it but as you see the words is less than 150 and the third part is omitted ((say what you want the manager to do)) please coorect me.
Dear sir or Madam,
I am writing to complain about the service I received from your store. Yesterday I brought my computer to your establishment to instal the new program on it, when I explained about my order to your clerk , she didn’t listen carefully and started to work on my computer. When I came back home and worked on my computer, I found that none of the new programs had run and all the information were stored on it were deleted. I took it to your store again the same day and explained the problem to the clerk, but she did not pay any attention to my trouble. When I asked her to check my computer again she didn’t answer gently and I left the shop.
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with your employee attitude and customer service.
Faithfully yours,
Alireza Mirsepasi