IELTS essay: Prevention is better than cure

[Kazi]

Greetings,
I am kazi form Australia. As I am preparing for general IELTS test it would be nice if you could give me some feedback and suggestions.

How much I can get with this?..Then I will know how much I should try..
I dont know this is the right place or not .This is my first try.

Best regards

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Prevention is better than cure."
Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to
spending on health education and preventative measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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This is a wide concept which represents that we can avoid many diseases
if we take prior steps from the outsets. Previously governments of many countries
Emphasized on curing the patient but did not use to provide with information of prevention.

The procedure of prevention holds the key to success which includes many things. This includes good life style procedure that keeps us healthy. For instance, if we educate
our people that cleaning the hands can prevent diarrhoea and cholera then people will follow it. Like this there are many steps that can help us to get rid of the 80% common diseases. We can include many hygienic procedures from the primary level education to upper level to spread this message.

Many developing countries do not have sufficient hospitals, educated doctors and useful
equipments for curing patients. Even in the western countries some people can not
support them with highly unlikely diseases . For example if people had stopped smoking they would avoid deadly disease like cancer and also save money.
If the people had knowledge about prevention hospitals could have fewer patients.
Government could save a lot of money as well.

There might be some arguments about giving so much importance about prevention.
Many people things pre procedures can not help us to get rid of all the diseases.
Some diseases like to spread on air. Again if the whole population can aware of these
unwanted diseases and make the environment clean then

In conclusion, it can be said that prevention is a good procedure for avoiding
diseases. Life will be secured. It is also beneficial government too.