TOEFL® essay: Reducing pollution

[Bumbagar]

hi, Can u help me to correct the errors?

Environmental pollution is the worldwide issue that troubles us physically, economically and everyday of our lives. However, the people of world from the common citizen to the government have power to address the issue because it is mostly caused by human activities. There are two main environmental contaminations we have to focus on.

One of them is air pollution. This harmful substance to the atmosphere result in damage to human health, surrounding and quality of life. In my hometown, three heat and power combined plants consume about 5 million tons of coal per year as well as there is 45 thousand cars, over 75 thousand national dwellings that consume nearly 200- 300 thousand tons of coal for cooking and heating. There are many projects implemented by national companies to reduce the usage of coal.

The first one is to change coal, which is used to make fire in semi urban area, by refined coal. Another is to transform our national dwelling into floor-heated dwelling which is called Master Dwelling. It heated by electroic source intsead of burning charcoal in the stove. Now Geo Mandal Company has built over 200 floor-heated Master dwelling. The last scheme is to build more apartment to the semi urban areas in my hometown. These apartment already funded by the Mongolian goverment.

In addition, people in the developed countries found their solution to fight smoke pollution. For example, many americans have been leaving their cars at home and riding to work on bicycles. The world's biggest auto makers began to manufacture hybrid and electronic cars.

The world's another worst form is water pollution. Water pollutant has many causes such as domestic discharge, storm run-off and accidental oil spills. There are many ways to tackle this problem.

Firstly, we have to icrease environmental awareness among our new generation through education. It means they will learn how to prevent water pollution.

Secondly, government has to advertise the effects of the pollution to public using mass media. Futhermore, the law enforcement office tightens control on people who break water law.

In conclusion, if we all work together against this dreadful issue, we can acheive together as well as live healthy and happily.

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