"Baby Shower Party."

[Minh]

Hello everyone, especially to Amy:

In American culture, A pregnant woman usually has a baby shower party a few weeks before the time to delivery her baby. The guests should bring some presents for the coming new-born baby. However, I saw a couple had a baby shower party after they adopted a baby. My question is whether the baby shower party could be celebrated in this way or after the baby is born. In my culture, there is a party for the baby after one month s/he is born. The baby's parents prepare food for their guests and many different toys displayed on the ground for their baby to pick up his/her first choice so that they can predict the baby's characteristics in his/her future life. I wonder weather the baby shower party in American has the same purpose to the party for the baby in my culture. Please tell me more details about baby shower party in American.

Many thanks,

Minh

[Skrej]

Hi Minh,

It sounds like the idea of a baby shower in American culture is somewhat different than in your culture. The purpose of a baby shower (there are bridal showers, also) is to celebrate the arrival or pending arrival of the baby (or event, such as the wedding). Usually the gifts at a baby shower are clothing, toys, and other equipment necessary for raising a baby.

It used to be traditional to only have a shower for the first baby, but that's changing now days. As you mentioned, typically the shower is held close to the birth of the baby, but occasionally after the birth. With an adoption, it is often held after the arrival of the adopted baby.

Traditionally, only women will be present at a baby shower, but that too, is changing, although it's still not common for men to attend the baby shower.

It is typically a festive affair, with food and games. However, the shower is not usually planned and held by the parents, but by friends or family members of the mother. The mother is sort of a guest of the party.
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[Jamie (K)]

Just to boil it down a little, the whole purpose of the baby shower is to provide the mother with the things she needs for the baby. Those would be clothes, toys, etc., as Skrej said. It has nothing to do with predicting anything about the baby, or anything magical like that.

By the way, as the baby grows and needs other things, it's now becoming common for mothers to attend what is called a "mom-to-mom" sale, which is where mothers sell or donate things that their child has outgrown and buy things that the child now needs. These are usually held at churches or community centers.

(Also, Skrej, "nowadays", not "now days".)

[NinaZara]

This reminds me of our old tradition where the pregnant woman is only given the best of everything during her pregnancy. In the old times, many women died of giving birth, so she is treated like a Queen where everything is taken care of. She is only given the best of food and she is only allowed to wear the best of clothes.

My mother told me older generation think getting pregnant is like sailing into the sea. If she is lucky, her ship will land on the shore safely. If she is unlucky, she will sink into the sea and never see shore.

I don't think we have baby shower but we do have something similar to Minh's culture where we prepare food for people. Another tradition involving babies is, every time the first son or daughter makes her visit to somebody's house, the host must at least rub him/her with perfume. The best is to give the child some rice (uncooked). But people prefer perfume because it's less messy and usually the perfume is what we call "Atta oil" from Mecca. (Most Hajj pilgrims from Malaysia wear this perfume)

When I asked my mother why, she gave me an answer similar to a "Just because" reason.

Sometimes I think it is really hard keeping up with traditions.

[Minh]

Hi NiaZara,

In your response, you said, " she gave me an answer similar to a "Just because" reason." Can you explain more details about "Just because" reason? I am not understanding clearly about it.

Thank you,

Minh

[Jamie (K)]

Minh, saying, "Just because," is the same as saying, "There is no reason," or, "I don't know the reason."

[NinaZara]

Hi, Minh

Jamie explained it simple and well. You can trust him on this.

"Just because" is something you say when you don't have an explanation to tell. For me, I sometimes say it when I don't want to tell people how I really feel about something.

[Sarah_9]

Hello,

Every culture celebrates the arrival of new born in their own way with little difference, but the main reason behind shower party is to welcome the new born and bless him/ her.

Regards,
sarah

[Kiprida]

Dear Minh,

In my country people celebrate the arrival of new born after 40 days. During centuries we did in suach a way. Few months ago I was watching TV, and at that TV program recommended to do it after 40 days. It's because only family members should see the baby, as in 40 days babies' immune system is weak and they can catch infection.

Regards,

~Phoebe
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