TOEFL® essay: Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon...

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Hi everybody, I'm new in this forum. Could somebody grade my essay please? I will take Toefl iBT test, and I need a "medium level" score in wrating.

Sorry about the essay content. It is just an exercise if I would had been in agreement with one choice, and I tried to defend my point. In the same way I could have written this defending the other choice or even both. Not at all it expresses a strong thought of mine.

Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In my opinion, it is better when young adults live with their families for a longer time. This choice is important to me because youngsters need enough matureness before they face the life on their own account. Depending on the reason about they go away from their family, there are many obstacles and limitations they have to overcome in the future. If they don’t have the necessary maturity, those young adults are likely to fail in the life. In this essay, I will discuss some arguments involve on the issue.

The principal reasons about which youngsters want to leave their family are independence, freedom and adventure. Youngsters go through several psychological problems throughout their development. This problems are common in the adolescence, but they may be the reason about they want to leave home. When the young adults take this decision, they do not have maturity to face the life problems, and consequently they will fail. Thus, they should better stay in home with their families until they acquire enough matureness.

Besides, another reason that youngsters wish go away from home is the marriage. Usually this desire happens when they have a strong motive. Causes such as desperate for love, rejected relationships by parents, and even sexual desires are common in this situation. As I say above youngsters needs a level of maturity. They should be assured that can deal with this responsibility. Differently, they may not success on matrimony and fail in their life.

Furthermore, it would be hard to prepare for a university career without parents support. Youngsters are more likely to rich an academic title staying with their. For example, when a student goes to university, he needs time to attend class and do his homework. If he has support from parents, he is able to pursue his career without any distraction or impediment. The parents will supply his personal needs like food, housing, money, and so on. Then he do not have to work and gain time for his studies. On the other hand, if he lives on his own account, he will have to get a full-time job to satisfy his needs and will not attend properly his class.

To sum up, clearly youngsters need a grade of mature to decide to leave home, also living with family is the best way to acquire an academic title. Therefore, it would be wise staying with family until youngsters gain knowledge, matureness and education to face the life alone. Otherwise, they could have a harsh road in their future.

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