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 #17 (permalink) Sun Jan 18, 2009 17:27 pm co-ed... |
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| Sahid59 wrote: |
Dear my Torsten..
you will see the bride for the first time after the marriage..
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For the first time! Even in the Islamic way, which is described as the strictest one, you have to see the bride. It is just a must. Please correct me if I am wrong, do you see the bride before you marry or you do not at all? |
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 Happytofita
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| #18 (permalink) Sun Jan 18, 2009 17:57 pm co-ed... |
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| Happytofita wrote: |
| Sahid59 wrote: |
Dear my Torsten..
you will see the bride for the first time after the marriage..
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For the first time! Even in the Islamic way, which is described as the strictest one, you have to see the bride. It is just a must. Please correct me if I am wrong, do you see the bride before you marry or you do not at all? |
true to speak, in our area (south India) only a few of them would have a look at their would-be's before marriage..not all...it seems very orthodox but it works..at least in my experience..
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Sahid59
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Sahid59
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| #19 (permalink) Sun Jan 18, 2009 18:38 pm co-ed... |
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| Happytofita wrote: |
| So, it it might be a good idea to separate them when they are kids, and later they can form platonic relationships. |
You're missing my whole point. When they are kids is the best time for them to learn to form platonic friendships. When they're older, it's late for that. |
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Jamie (K)
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| #20 (permalink) Sun Jan 18, 2009 18:41 pm co-ed... |
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| Sahid59 wrote: |
| true to speak, in our area (south India) only a few of them would have a look at their would-be's before marriage..not all...it seems very orthodox but it works..at least in my experience.. |
What happens if the unknown wife or husband turns out to be a horrible person? |
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Jamie (K)
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| #21 (permalink) Sun Jan 18, 2009 18:42 pm co-ed... |
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| Jamie (K) wrote: |
| Happytofita wrote: |
| So, it it might be a good idea to separate them when they are kids, and later they can form platonic relationships. |
You're missing my whole point. When they are kids is the best time for them to learn to form platonic friendships. When they're older, it's late for that. |
I can see what you mean. |
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Happytofita
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| #22 (permalink) Sun Jan 18, 2009 19:41 pm co-ed... |
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| Jamie (K) wrote: |
| What happens if the unknown wife or husband turns out to be a horrible person? |
If the husband's horrible, than I suspect the wife's just S.O.L., at least in Islam.
If the woman's horrible, well, perhaps that's why the man's allowed up to 3 more wives...better odds for him. :lol:
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Skrej
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| #23 (permalink) Mon Jan 19, 2009 0:42 am co-ed... |
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| Sahid59 wrote: |
| true to speak, in our area (south India) only a few of them would have a look at their would-be's before marriage..not all...it seems very orthodox but it works..at least in my experience.. |
As far as you are concerned, what is done is done. But will your children marry in the same way? |
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Happytofita
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| #24 (permalink) Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:01 am co-ed... |
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| Skrej wrote: |
| Jamie (K) wrote: |
| What happens if the unknown wife or husband turns out to be a horrible person? |
If the husband's horrible, than I suspect the wife's just S.O.L., at least in Islam.
If the woman's horrible, well, perhaps that's why the man's allowed up to 3 more wives...better odds for him. :lol: |
dear skrej,
thanks for your comment..in Islam men and women are having equal opportunity to get separated from their spouses if they really need. It is not at all possible to lead a normal and peaceful life once the marriage becomes horrible, in Jamie's words.
but the sad truth is the percentage of divorces are more in love-marriages and less in arranged-marriages.
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Sahid59
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Sahid59
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| #25 (permalink) Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:07 am Single-sex or co-educational schools? |
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| I would venture to guess that the percentage of miserable arranged marriages is higher than that of love marriages. There are other social factors involved in arranged marriages that may cause a lower divorce rate, simply because the wife can't get away or has nowhere to go. It doesn't have to be because the spouses are happier. |
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Jamie (K)
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| #26 (permalink) Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:10 am co-ed... |
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| Happytofita wrote: |
| Sahid59 wrote: |
| true to speak, in our area (south India) only a few of them would have a look at their would-be's before marriage..not all...it seems very orthodox but it works..at least in my experience.. |
As far as you are concerned, what is done is done. But will your children marry in the same way? |
You see, again it becomes one of our main duties towards our kids to guide them a right path as far as their married life is concerned. In Islam there are three major duties towards our children.
They are:
No.1. Name them with a good and legitimate name.
No.2. Give them the education (good habits and traditional practices)
No.3. Guide them in their marriage (find a suitable life partner for them)
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Sahid59
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Sahid59
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| #27 (permalink) Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:36 am Single-sex or co-educational schools? |
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If you need to find a 'suitable life partner' for your children, all the 'education' you provide them is rather useless.
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Torsten
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| #28 (permalink) Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:44 am Single-sex or co-educational schools? |
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| Torsten wrote: |
| If you need to find a 'suitable life partner' for your children, all the 'education' you provide them is rather useless. |
Torsten, I think you're confusing the English word "education" with the concept of child-rearing or upbringing.
"Education" means schooling (Ausbildung, in German).
The German word "Erziehung" means upbringing or child-rearing. |
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Jamie (K)
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| #29 (permalink) Mon Jan 19, 2009 21:12 pm Single-sex or co-educational schools? |
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| thank you sahid for your posts I don't want to add more than you because what you say is right, but one small thing I want to say, not every muslim get married on the traditional way I know a lot of saudi and muslim people who get married after they fall in love and they are so happy now. I am saudi girl and I'm muslim too, I live a love story with a syrian man and we decide to get marry after I finish my studies. |
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Nour25
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| #30 (permalink) Mon Jan 19, 2009 21:26 pm Single-sex or co-educational schools? |
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| Nour25 wrote: |
| , not every muslim get married on the traditional way |
The way those marriages are arranged has nothing to do with the Quran.
| Nour25 wrote: |
| I know a lot of saudi and muslim people who get married after they fall in love and they are so happy now. I am saudi girl and I'm muslim too, I live a love story with a syrian man and we decide to get marry after I finish my studies. |
You only need to know how to form platonic relationships with the opposite sex, that's all.
Good luck,
Mouhcine |
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Happytofita
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