TOEFL® essay: All college students shold be required to take classes outside...

[Silva]

I am agree with the statement that all college students should required to take classes outside of their major study.There are many reasons which are following-
College is the place where we go for learning new things,to increse our knowledge,to get ready for future.In our life the student life is the best life if we use it properly otherwise the rest part of our life goes west so we shoud take the best advantage of this period.By taking classes apart from our major field we can increse our knowledge efficency.Now in this world of competition eveybody wants person with great specialties so we can do these better by taking other subjects.Having knowldge apart from your subject that also shows your attitude towards learning new things.Because of these you never feel your self behind of anybody wether its your study or your job or your life.The another reason is also that in country like usa students are free to take any subjects apart from their major study so students are free to make thier future in their intrested feild where in country like india students have to take only major subjects no other choice or no outside classes because of these are forced to study hard and get more pressurised .So in country likeusa if students get oppertunity to choose thier subject accoding to thier intrest so they have to take advantage of this .Other advantage is like on their way of thinking .More wide knowledeable person can think better than person with resticted ideas and knowledge.These type of study also helpful in developing multiple type of personality ,people are more attracted towards them.
please let me tell my grade for writing i know this is small for essay but can you please tell me some other things which i can add for this essay.
thaking you ,silva

[Gray]

The discussion here should focus on -

why do we need additional classes?
and what value do those classes add?

The reasoning or presentation here is not adequate for the subject or it does not relate to it clearly. Also, the lack of organization affects the clarity of the essay.

Spelling mistakes like 'increse', 'field'; grammatical errors like 'should required to take' should be avoided.

Improper capitalization like 'usa', 'india'; not having space after comma or period is not acceptable.
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First lesson - English, not english. I, not i. ~A student of English