TOEFL® essay sample: Americans get married late

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Hi everyone,
I am new members, I like this website so much but I have never post any topic on this ste but because I do not know how it work. Today, I try to post my eassy to share with everyone who is concerned about this topic. Thanks so much if if can receive your reply and I am very happy to make friend with all of you.
This my essay :

Americans get married late
Today many Americans tend to get married later in life than they used to. Nowadays society has changed in its life way and its standard. The youth American must now face many difficulties in their life as they are awarded of their responsibility to other person or to themselves. The reason why Americans get married late has many but in this essay, the reasons of education, money and freedom will be concerned.
First of all, education is the first reason causes Americans have not thought to marriage early yet. Nowadays standard of everyone is education which everyone needs to get, at least a particular degree two or four years. After finishing high school, the American youth often keep going to pursue degree at a specific university. Everyone needs a job to live so high degree is always a good qualification to look for a good job. They want to have a plan for their future, so they do not think to marriage at this period. Because the most importance in this period is to try to complete university degree as soon as possible. It’s very difficult to do homework meanwhile feeding a baby.
Earning money is the next reason why Americans get married late. In fact, earning money in society today is not always easy, even with someone has high degree. Many people think that try to get a degree and get a good job is okay, but a job with high benefit or high salary always require a perfect performance in work. So many people try to work hard, and seem not have free time to go out with friends. The pressure of hard working, which is always around them, causes stress for many people. They think to nothing except their work, especially the pressure of working in advanced country like The USA today makes people always in circle status of working and working.
Last of all, enjoying the privacy or freedom is last reason why Americans get married late, it seem make Americans be afraid of getting married early, especially when they are not really ready to marriage life. When they are single, they can date with anyone they fall in love, they may be feeling not comfortable as sharing a house with other. So some people are afraid of changing this status, they will feel be restricted if they get married early. Because when they get married they can not enjoy their freedom utterly, they can not spend money or time on their interesting things, their privacy will be bothered or restricted by their child or their husband or wife. They like enjoying their freedom and privacy until they really feel need someone to be taken care or take care someone.
Finally, three reasons above makes Americans think carefully before getting married. They want to complete their desiring education level before they are old. Other reason, they want to earn much money to prepare for their future perfectly to enter the marriage life. Freedom is the last reason causes Americans get married late. Getting marriage late seems become popular in American society today. So they do not feel that thing is strange because this changing is suit with busy society today.