TOEFL® essay: You are trying to show your emotions or not?

[Forever_The_Ones]

Dear Sir, It's really helpful if you correct the essay I've just written. Thanks a lot for your caring.

Question: Some people show their emotions, while other people work hard to keep their emotions from showing. What are the advantages of each type of behavior? Which do you try to do?

Everyone of us has a lot of emotions each time and all of these are really complex. I am not the exception, sometimes I want to share my feeling to other people like my friends but sometimes not. Although I do not know what I should do when I be that, in my opinion I think each behavior has its own strong advantages.

In some cases, humans like to show their emotions because of the advantages of this action. The most important is that you can throw your heavy feeling over you for the long time. You will feel comfortable because you can express it to another such as your parents, your big brother or your best friends. Moreover, all of them can understand you more and give you the great solution to face with the problem you are having. So when you are in emotions, it is really necessary for you to confide in the people you believe.

While other people like to share feeling to other, there are many people do not want to do that. The benefit that is you can keep your emotion just for you. If you think nobody can understand in your situation, so keep it is the best solution. For example, when I have bad grade in exam or test. I think this is my own mistake and no body can help me. Thus, I often do not tell it to anybody including my father and my mother and I just try to study harder myself. After that, my result always be better and I feel really good.

In conclusion, my experiences is just trying to keep my own emotions because I think I can solve my problems my way and also because of its strong advantages. However, I do not advice you to do that because it is just my behavior. If it is better to share your feeling, you can do that well. Hopefully, all people will be happy when they have emotions.

[Forever_The_Ones]

May anybody correct it for me, thanks a lot