TOEFL® essay: Use your knowledge and experience to solve problems or to turn...?

[Dengqinbo]

Hello, guys. I am new here. I came to this website for days to see something useful, but it is my first time to post my stuff. This is an issue i wrote on this topic" Do you prefer to use your knowledge and experience to solve problems or to turn to others for advice?" I am not sure whether my artical is well developed or not. I am looking forward for your suggestions!!!! I would really appreciate of your times. Thank you a lot!

There has been a heated debate on problem-solving whether people should turn to others for help or should work the puzzle out on their own. Some people suggest that we handle the problem ourselves, however I am more willing to take advices from the experienced adults or peers to help me get over it. By asking others for help, I consider, individuals can save much unnecessary effort, approach to surprising new stuffs as well.
To start with, depending on others is the most effective way to get rid of difficulties. A difficulty here is something that you meet it without knowing what it is and where it leads to. Since it unmatches any kinds of tough tasks you experienced before, you can't deal with it by previous lessons. Your predication on its appearance is also unreliable, which may bring a wrong answer, even worse, enlarge the original one. What will you do? Are you pondering, "It is said that 'desperate time calls for desperate measurement', then I just need to try. No matter what, the 101th trail must be right after my 100 disappointments." Well, these "strenuous youth", I would rather mock at than show my admiration for. My suggestion is to collect as much information as possible before you begin to work on it. From your friends, families, or teachers, you could gain sufficient and precious knowledge of this "difficulty". Has the monster gradually revealed the awful mask and taken on its real looking, can you come to realize that finally it is not insurmountable than it is supposed to. Contrary to that may it be even easier to settle than any other you have done with. Then, how long have you been taken to solve the problem? Maybe several hours, or one day or more, it is not for sure, but what I am for sure is that you can't spend more time and effort than if not asking for help.
Second, communicating with others means to exchange, exchanging respective knowledge, ideas, and impressive lessons. For example, you were managing to take a trip to Shanghai, a beautiful coastal city. Knowing scanty about the traveling expense, you decided to seek out relevant message via on-line Travel Information Network. After scrolling numerous pages of “up-to-date and best guiding”, you gave up, upset and helpless. It is disturbing to scan piece by piece the seemingly useful information, which is indeed getting money out of your pocket. Right at the moment of depression, you bumped into a cyber-friend in a chatting room. You conferred to her and you just try to find comforts. Out of your expectation was that, for God’s sake, she is from Shanghai! Thanks to her kindness, you attained so much, including transportation tools, the fee of scenery spots, hotel prices and services, all aspects of life there! What’s more, she gave you useful tips, telling you which restaurant serves the best dishes, what kind of souvenir is a waste of money and so on. She helped you save a large amount of money. At the end of your conversation, she said she was about to fly to your city for business in a few months. As a return, you render her as much as you know about your hometown, which would be enough for her during her staying. In a word, you both earn your wishes by sharing with your own inconvenience, yet at the beginning none could have been expected this. Now that the benefit of communication outweighs its disadvantages, everyone should learn to speak out of your questions to others. Perhaps the solution is found during the course of communication.
It is true that kill a problem by your own is a practice of self-reliance, I prefer to the more-than-one participation style of problem-solving. One’s knowledge is more or less limit, though, wisdom of a group is endless. Only in this way can you achieve goals in shortest time and with most desirable answers you want.

[Kitosdad]

Hello Dengqinbo, and I wish you a very warm welcome to this Forum. I'm pleased to meet you and to read your lengthy post.

It was a good post, but if I might say so, rather too long for our more inexperienced members. Even I found some difficulty in maintaining interest.

Perhaps seperating the paragraphs, which is the form I usually adopt, would make it more readable and interesting.

You do make a good point regarding asking others for help, and this is the main point of this Forum.

Your command of English is admirable, although your sentence structure does require some further work and consideration.

Please take my comments not as criticism, but rather as helpful suggestions.

Kitosdad.
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[Dengqinbo]

Thanks, Kitosdad. You are very helpful!!!!!!!
Just one more thing, could you please give me some more ideas on sentence structure?
Since i am not an enligh-speacking student and my monther languge differs al lot from english on the way that forms a speech, I find it very hard to use transitional words correctly and effectively.

[Darkangel12891]

People, in somehow, have their own way to solve their problems like their knowledge or experience. By doing this, they can satisfy with overcoming things by their selves whether the successfulness will come or not. However, I would rather to choose a way at which receive other people’s advice because of the youngness and lacking of experience.
First of all, I am now still a student so it makes me think that i am unable to face my problem maturely. In fact, an elder person always requires a victory than an older one as they won’t look at their problem relatively but instinctively. This, however, will cover their mind that leads them to several mistakes. Further more, Young people, in fact, are incapable of having enough knowledge to assess problem efficiently. For example, let’s imagine that your bike gets wrong and what should you do then? If you fix it by yourself, perhaps your bike will become more serious because you haven’t learn to fix bike before. Therefore, other’s advices will help us a a lot in the way of reducing our mistakes as much as possible.

Secondly, it is obviously seen that not at all every things can be taught at our school but society. Teacher, in another way, have just gave us the general knowledge and what is the most important lessons of them must be taught by society. So, we are still young to get all these lessons as we are inquired to listen to older people’s advices so that we can learn more in order to avoid failure in our life.

In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that we should learn significantly from other people. By doing this, we are tend to be more successful not only in your future but also in your thinking.

[Darkangel12891]

Hardly can every one claim to know every thing in life. In fact, there are many problems existing in our life at which we even don’t know how to overcome them. Thus, especially we are still young and inexperience so we should better learn from other experiences rather than wasting our time and efforts.

Firstly, I firmly believe that even though people, in reality, learn for their whole life ,they eventually can not know every thing. It’s obvious that our knowledge is being built up step by step by taking knowledge not only from our teachers but also from reality. I am still young to have enough experience and knowledge. If I get problems, it had better to take advices from others, who are more mature and plenty of experience. It seems to me that their knowledge can give me a better way to solve my problems instead of doing by myself because they have passed on it already, so they know what is the best measure to deal with that problems.

Secondly, almost our important lessons can not be taught by our teacher but reality. For examples, we learn how to deal with other people through contacting with them. Therefore, we can so easily get stuck in our relationship that we know no way to be peaceful with them again. In that case, other’s advices are very useful because they are more patient as they can anticipate that problem with an opened-view. Thus, I convincingly think that experience is what we only can learn from reality, so listening to others can help us avoid several failures in our life.

In conclusion, we should learn from other advices. By doing this, we are tending to be more successful not only in our future but also in our thinking.

[Gray]

Hello friends,

I have tried to write something on this topic. Please see if it sounds good --

www.english-test.net/forum/ftopic36565.html
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[Kitosdad]

Sounds good to my Gray.Well structured, and to the point.
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[Gray]

[Kitosdad]

Gray, I think your essay is absolutely superb. Perhaps our learned Moderators could find fault with it, but not I.

It illustrates the rationale in a well-balanced , mature adult.

I have made an edited version which I will post later, if that's OK with you.
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[Kitosdad]

Someone once rightly said, “Our private victories should precede our public victories”.

We should begin within ourselves. To be able to learn something from others, we should be capable of learning first. And that happens inside us, not outside.

But we cannot exist on our own. Everything we have, we acquire from others.

What is unique is our own perception and reasoning.

But to a very large extent that perception and reasoning is shaped by our experiences. Therefore, making the choice between our own knowledge and that of others’ is not just difficult, but impractical.

For example,when wishing to repair your vehicle. You could read everything from a repair manual. But it would be impractical to spend so much time on a repair that a mechanic could achieve in minutes, because he has the expertise and experience which you lack.

We cannot be versatile enough to solve each and every problem we encounter in our life.

But when it comes to personal issues, like stretched relationships ,you have to turn inwards.

You could get help from your close- ones, but you should not rely solely on them.

They cannot perceive what you can. Also, by facing such problems on your own, you learn to make decisions for yourself, and to live with those decisions. Hence, we become responsible.

In conclusion, instead of perceiving it as a dilemma, we should better learn to distinguish between what we are capable of doing, what is our responsibility, and what can be delegated to others.
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[Dengqinbo]

It is a gorgeous article, worthy of reciting. Thank Gray for your writting and Kitosdad(Bill right?) for your editting.

[Kitosdad]

" Kitosdad (Bill right?) " for your editting.

Good morning Dengqinbo my friend. I hope all is well with you and your family.

Yes, it was my edit,but I hasten to add,that I only do so when requsted.

I too thought it was a brilliant essay, and I am sure that my friend Gray will get a pass for his effort.
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[Kitosdad]

Dengqinbo, you pay me a great credit with your request my friend.

I am obliged to point out most clearly, that I am not a teacher, merely a native English speaker wishing to offer my help wherever possible.

If I might refer you to Gray´s original draft ... if you were to compare this to my edit, then you will find only subtle differences between them.

My intention is never to completely change the writers text, merely to move the words around so that they impart the intended message a little more clearly.

I would be more than happy to edit any text you wish to post, or send to me by PM.

Kitosdad.
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[Dengqinbo]

Yes, I did read Grey's original draft precede your edit. After your work, this short article become bolder and more readable.

[Kitosdad]

There has been a heated debate on problem-solving, as to whether people should turn to others for help, or should work out the solution for themselves.

Some people suggest that we handle the problem ourselves. However I am more than willing to take advice from the more experienced adults or peers to help me get over it.

By asking others for help, I feel that individuals input can save much unnecessary effort.

To start with, depending on others is the most effective way to get rid of difficulties.

The difficulty is meeting a problem without reallyknowing what it is, and where it will lead .

Since it fails to match any kind of task that you have ever experienced before, you will be unable to deal with it as you have in previous lessons.

Your interpretation of the problem may also be completely unfounded, which may cause you to come to the wrong conclusion, or even worse, enlarge the original one.

"It is said that 'desperate times call for desperate measures', then I just need to try.

No matter what, the 101th trail must be right after my first 100 disappointments."

My decision would be to collect as much information as possible from your friends, family or teachers.

In conclusion I would say that it is far more sensible, and expedient, to ask knowledgeable friends for advice, rather than to spend several hours on the problem.

Dengqinbo, I would think that this is sufficient for your presentation, but if you wish me to edit your additional text I will do so. ( But in my opinion it adds confusion to your topic.)
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